SM Joke Card Dump: Card List
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# | Name | Colour | Rarity | Cost | Type | P | T | Card text | Comments | Recent comment |
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1 | Grizzled Janitor | White | Uncommon | Creature – Human Sponge | 3 | 3 | You may cast Grizzled Janitor during your cleanup step, but not at any other time. (You can't cast spells during the cleanup step unless a triggered ability or state-based action takes place at that time.) | 7 | on 10 Dec 2011 by SadisticMystic | |
2 | Insaneplayer Angel | White | Mythic | Chase Creature – Angel | 0 | 0 |
Flying, vigilance
As long as you're playing at FNM, Insaneplayer Angel has protection from everything. Insaneplayer Angel gets +1/+1 for each full 100 Planeswalker Points you've earned this season. |
2 | on 09 Dec 2012 by SadisticMystic | |
3 | Last Line of Defense | White | Mythic | Instant |
Put 300 1/1 white Soldier creature tokens with defender onto the battlefield. You can't cast spells for the rest of the game.
Madness |
3 | on 05 Sep 2013 by Alex | |||
4 | One with Something | White | Common | Instant | Draw your hand. (Lay it flat against a sheet of paper and run along the outline with a pen or pencil, then color it and show it to your mommy.) | 1 | on 19 Feb 2011 by Alex | |||
5 | Stay of Execution | White | Rare | Sorcery |
Players play a Magic subgame, using their libraries as decks. Each player who doesn't win the subgame loses half his or her life, rounded up. Then each player shuffles all cards he or she owns from the subgame into his or her library.
Miracle |
2 | on 09 Apr 2012 by jmgariepy | |||
6 | The Fourth Wall | White | Rare | Creature – Wall | 0 | 10 | When The Fourth Wall is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, if three other cards named The Fourth Wall are in your graveyard, you win the game. | 2 | on 06 Jan 2011 by Alex | |
7 | Cloak of Jace | Blue | Mythic | Enchantment – Aura |
Enchant planeswalker
Enchanted planeswalker is unattackable. |
8 | on 18 Feb 2013 by SadisticMystic | |||
8 | Epic Fail | Blue | Rare | Instant |
Counter target spell. Its controller discards a card.
Epic (Hey, it's in the card name.) |
0 | ||||
9 | Ixidor's Tattoo Parlor | Blue | Rare | Sorcery | Change the text of target nontoken creature you own by writing your choice of "flying", "shadow", "shroud", or "protection from green" in its text box. (This effect doesn't end...ever. At least not if you had the sense to write in non-erasable ink.) | 0 | ||||
10 | Longing Memory | Blue | Common | Enchantment | : Counter target spell. Activate this ability only any time you could cast an interrupt. (You could cast interrupts between August 1993 and April 1999.) | 8 | on 05 Jan 2011 by Alex | |||
11 | Magikarp | Blue | Common | Creature – Fish | 0 | 1 | Evolve, evolve, evolve, evolve, evolve, evolve, evolve | 6 | on 24 Jan 2013 by SadisticMystic | |
12 | O-Kagachi's Phantom Bus | Blue | Uncommon | Instant – Arcane | Counter target spell. If you do, at the beginning of your next precombat main phase, add to your mana pool, where X is that spell's converted mana cost. If a Spirit or Arcane spell is countered this way, destroy all creatures you control. (As if you're playing any.) | 2 | on 13 Apr 2013 by SadisticMystic | |||
13 | Quicksliver Gargantuan | Blue | Rare | Creature – Sliver Shapeshifter | 7 | 7 |
Flash
You may have Quicksliver Gargantuan enter the battlefield as a copy of any Sliver creature on the battlefield, except it's 7/7 and has "Sliver cards that aren't on the battlefield have flash." |
4 | on 07 May 2013 by SadisticMystic | |
14 | Dis-MEME-ber | Black | Uncommon | Instant | You get an emblem with "All creatures get -5/-5" because--let's face it, they're all just going to die anyway. | 3 | on 22 Sep 2011 by SadisticMystic | |||
15 | Five-Dollar Wrench | Black | Common | Sorcery | Destroy target creature that has a card encoded on it. | 3 | on 28 Dec 2012 by SadisticMystic | |||
16 | Foalslayer | Black | Uncommon | Creature – Demon | 3 | 3 |
Delve
If a creature card with horsemanship was exiled with Foalslayer's delve ability, Foalslayer has horsemanship. The same is true for "When this creature dies, you gain 1 life" and ", : Target Dwarf gains mountainwalk until end of turn." |
0 | ||
17 | Phyrexian Shopping Channel | Black | Uncommon | Sorcery | Until end of turn, you gain "Pay 2 life: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool." | 3 | on 05 Apr 2011 by SadisticMystic | |||
18 | Solipsist's Victory | Black | Rare | Sorcery | Your range of influence becomes 0. | 4 | on 05 Jan 2011 by SadisticMystic | |||
19 | Spike, Flagship Predator | Black | Rare | Legendary Creature – Human Gamer | 1 | 1 | Whenever you use the Magic Store & Event Locator to find tournaments in your area, you may pay . If you do, cast target nonland card in your graveyard without paying its mana cost. | 8 | on 08 Jul 2014 by SadisticMystic | |
20 | Umezawa's Kitty | Black | Uncommon | Legendary Creature – Cat | 0 | 2 |
Whenever Umezawa's Kitty deals combat damage, put two yarn counters on it.
Remove a yarn counter from Umezawa's Kitty: Choose one — Umezawa's Kitty gets +2/+2 until end of turn, or put a 1/1 black Rat Zombie creature token onto the battlefield, or target opponent loses 1 life and you gain 1 life. |
1 | on 19 Mar 2013 by cmeister2 | |
21 | Aether's Embrace | Red | Uncommon | Enchantment |
Oozes are red.
Vehicles crewed by two or more creatures get +2/+2. |
0 | ||||
22 | Blazing Pact | Red | Rare | Sorcery |
Blazing Pact deals an amount of damage of your choice to target creature or player.
At the beginning of your next upkeep, pay , where X is the amount of damage Blazing Pact dealt this way. If you don't, you lose the game. |
5 | on 28 Jan 2012 by Vitenka | |||
23 | Energizer Bunny | Red | Common | Ongoing Creature – Rabbit | 2 | 2 |
(Energizer Bunny keeps going and going...)
Energizer Bunny enters the battlefield with 20 charge counters on it. When Energizer Bunny has no charge counters on it, go to the store and buy a new one. |
3 | on 12 Sep 2011 by SadisticMystic | |
24 | Leyline of Pun-ishment | Red | Rare | Enchantment |
If Leyline of Pun-ishment is in your opening hand, you may begin the game with it on the battlefield.
If Leyline of Pun-ishment is in your closing hand, you're probably about to punch someone in the face with it. (That's going to get you disqualified, of course.) |
1 | on 10 Jul 2012 by Link | |||
25 | Multiverse of Bums | Red | Common | World Sparked Enchantment |
(Sparked is to planeswalker as tribal is to creature.)
Multiverse of Bums is every planeswalker type (at all times). |
2 | on 20 Mar 2014 by Alex | |||
26 | Quizzy, Izzet Immortician | Red | Rare | Legendary Creature – Goblin | 1 | 1 | Dredge 0 | 3 | on 30 May 2012 by jmgariepy | |
27 | Vol-tron, Savior of Tarkir | Red | Mythic | Sparked Creature – Dragon Sarkhan Ugin | 4 | 4 |
(Sparked is to planeswalker as tribal is to creature.)
When Vol-tron, Savior of Tarkir enters the battlefield, if it's on the battlefield, search your library for up to three Dragon creature cards and reveal them. Those cards gain bestow . Cast any number of them for their bestow costs targeting Vol-tron, then shuffle your library. Vol-tron gets +3/+3 for each Aura attached to it. |
1 | on 15 Jan 2015 by Alex | |
28 | Nesting Sliver | Green | Common | Creature – Sliver | 1 | 1 | All Slivers have "All Slivers get +0/+1 and have this ability" and this ability. | 10 | on 11 May 2013 by SadisticMystic | |
29 | Tarmostone Vortex | Green | Rare | Tribal Artifact Enchantment – Lhurgoyf | Cards that aren't in the game are in their owners' graveyards in addition to not being in the game. | 3 | on 19 Feb 2011 by Alex | |||
30 | Tutu Cat | Green | Common | Creature – Cat | 19 | 19 | Tutu Cat is 2/2. | 2 | on 11 Jan 2011 by Jack V | |
31 | Fblthp, God of Displacement | Multicolour | Rare | Legendary Enchantment Creature – God | 4 | 4 |
Indestructible
As long as the sum of your devotions to white and blue is less than five, Fblthp isn't a creature. You can't lose the game if you've lost life this turn. : Another target creature loses all abilities until end of turn. (Treat an undefined power or toughness as 0.) |
4 | on 09 Sep 2013 by Hālian | |
32 | 4'33" | Multicolour | Rare | Creature – Beast Bard | 4 | 33 | 12 | on 25 Jan 2011 by SadisticMystic | ||
33 | Ajani's Primate | Multicolour | Uncommon | Creature – Ape | 3 | 3 | As long as you control an Ajani planeswalker, Ajani's Primate gets +3/+3 and has defender, and that planeswalker's loyalty abilities cost an additional +1 to activate. | 1 | on 30 Oct 2014 by SadisticMystic | |
34 | Pinocchioken | Multicolour | Common | Sorcery | Target token becomes a REAL CARD! | 0 | ||||
35 | In-surrak-tion | Multicolour | Rare | Sorcery | Untap all creatures and gain control of them until end of turn. They gain haste, lose all other abilities, and become 4/4 Bears. At the beginning of the next end step, each of those creatures fights itself. | 1 | on 23 Nov 2014 by Hālian | |||
36 | Mini-Myojin | Multicolour | Mythic | Legendary Creature – Spirit | 6 | 6 |
Other spells you cast with Myojin in their names cost less to cast.
Mini-Myojin is indestructible as long as it has a divinity counter on it. Grandeur – Discard another card named Mini-Myojin: Proliferate, then put a divinity counter on Mini-Myojin |
1 | on 31 May 2012 by Alex | |
37 | Fifth-Sun Quan, Lord of WUBRG | Artifact | Rare | Legendary Artifact Creature – Golem | 3 | 3 |
Sunburst (This creature enters the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter for each different color of mana spent to pay its cost.)
Trample Other creatures you control have sunburst. |
1 | on 08 Apr 2015 by Link | |
38 | Mirrodin's Coors | Artifact | Common | Artifact Creature – Ooze | 2 | 6 |
Hexproof (This permanent is 3% alcohol by volume.)
Whenever Mirrodin's Coors deals damage to a creature, tap that creature and it doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step. : Recycle Mirrodin's Coors. (Sacrifice it. If you do, put a token onto the battlefield that's a copy of it.) |
0 | ||
39 | Noah's Monarch | Artifact | Rare | Legendary Artifact |
If a player would become the monarch while exactly one other player is the monarch, instead both of those players become monarchs.
, : Choose a creature type, then put two 1/1 colorless creature tokens of the chosen type onto the battlefield. |
1 | on 22 Aug 2016 by Izaac | |||
40 | Rube Goldberg Machine | Artifact | Uncommon | Artifact – Contraption | Each Trap card in your hand has splice onto Trap. Its splice cost is equal to the first mana cost that appears in its text box. | 2 | on 05 Jan 2011 by SadisticMystic | |||
41 | Shroud of Turing | Artifact | Mythic | Artifact – Contraption |
As Shroud of Turing enters the battlefield, choose a color, two creature types, and two numbers, then put X charge counters on Shroud of Turing.
Whenever a creature of the first chosen creature type dies, if Shroud of Turing has exactly the first chosen number of charge counters on it, the game ends in a draw if the second chosen number is 0 or less. Otherwise, add or remove charge counters from each Contraption you control until each one has exactly the second chosen number of charge counters on it, then put a 1/1 creature token with the chosen color and second chosen creature type onto the battlefield. |
2 | on 18 Sep 2012 by SadisticMystic | |||
42 | Smallmox | Artifact | Uncommon | Artifact | : Add one fourth of a mana of any color to your mana pool. | 0 | ||||
43 | Spoonsilver Myr | Artifact | Uncommon | Artifact Creature – Myr | 2 | 2 | : Add to your mana pool. When that mana is spent to cast a blue instant spell, copy that spell and you may choose new targets for the copy. | 3 | on 03 Dec 2015 by Alex | |
44 | Candy Land | Land | Rare | Land |
: Add to your mana pool.
, Give yourself three poison counters: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool. All counters on players are poison counters (instead of any other type of counter). |
0 | ||||
45 | Islands Are Broken! | Land | Mythic | Basic Land – Island | : You lose the game. | 1 | on 18 Feb 2011 by Jack V | |||
46 | Karoo Myr Cat | Land | Uncommon | Artifact Creature Land – Myr Cat | 2 | 1 |
(Karoo Myr Cat isn't a spell, and it gets summoning sickness.)
When Karoo Myr Cat enters the battlefield, sacrifice it unless you return another land you control to its owner's hand and pay . Vigilance : Add to your mana pool. |
13 | on 06 Dec 2011 by SadisticMystic | |
47 | Mount Gox | Land | Rare | Legendary Enchantment Land |
: Add to your mana pool. (That's better than because you don't have to suck up to the MAN!)
When Mount Gox becomes the target of a spell or ability, sacrifice it, put a token onto the battlefield that's a copy of it except its name becomes a randomly chosen name, and flip two coins. If you lose both flips, lose 20 life. |
3 | on 28 Feb 2014 by SadisticMystic | |||
48 | Urza's Toughness Plant | Land | Uncommon | Land – Urza's Toughness-Plant |
: Add to your mana pool.
: Urza's Toughness Plant becomes a 0/3 green Plant creature with defender until end of turn. It's still a land. : Target Plant creature gets +0/+3 until end of turn. |
2 | on 21 Jul 2013 by Alex |
SM Joke Card Dump: Cardlist | Visual spoiler | Export | Booster | Comments | Search | Recent activity |