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CardName: Gruesome Enhancements Cost: Wu Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Choose target creature. Merge each permanent attached to that creature under it. Change its text by replacing all instances of "enchanted" and "equipped" with "this." Draw a card. Flavour Text: Grokk never forgot his sword at home again. Set/Rarity: Infinite Potential Well Uncommon

Gruesome Enhancements
{w}{u}
 
 U 
Instant
Choose target creature. Merge each permanent attached to that creature under it. Change its text by replacing all instances of "enchanted" and "equipped" with "this."
Draw a card.
Grokk never forgot his sword at home again.
Updated on 26 May 2020 by dude1818

History: [-]

2020-04-26 04:32:00: dude1818 created and commented on the card Gruesome Enhancements

I don't even know where to begin with what color this is

Hmm. It's mostly an anti-enchantment/equipment card. White and green both get to do that. But it's a very unnatural change to a creature, and green thematically avoids that. So white I guess.

If we go to tertiaries, then it's messing with how stuff works, and isn't directly removing the attached stuff - so blue could go there. And if it was only your stuff, I could see it going black.

Considering the possible abuse... I guess it lets you take things that are supposed to only affect the artifact/enchantement itself and also apply them to the creature. Not so much use for totem armour; but pretty useful for stuff that gets to bounce back, effectively making an invulnerable host. So I'd suggest {u}{w} as a cost, to reflect that nature.

Weeeeird card

I kind of like it, though :)

I agree that {w}{u} is a pretty good cost. Honestly, I figure it might be okay to do {1}{w/u} as a cost, but I don't think the color pie has rules for something like this!

I've been suggested Simic and Sultai on discord. I think I'll go with WU, esp since it feels particularly like the Phyrexian W and U factions

2020-04-26 16:08:45: dude1818 edited Gruesome Enhancements
2020-04-28 04:53:28: dude1818 edited Gruesome Enhancements

Weird interaction with Fencer's Magemark and company. ;)

Heh. "Creature's that you control that are this gain..."

Well, it does what it does to other enchantments. Makes them affect that creature and only that creature; but with funny wording. An interesting way to turn them off, though.

This card's colors are mechanically appropriate, but the flavor seems a bit weird to me... I don't really see {w}{u} having a card called Gruesome Enhancements... Sultai would actually be a really good color for this flavorwise.

This card just keeps growing on me, I especially like the interesting way of using merge, from the new Mutate mechanic!

I'm picturing Elesh Norn or Jin-Gitaxias behind this one. Fusing your equipment with your body feels very Phyrexian, and I'd definitely call the white and blue cards from New Phyrexia gruesome

Oooh that's really good flavor. I hadn't thought of that!

You're right about the gruesomeness of {w} and {u} in New Phyrexia... I guess I'm just used to {b} being a gruesome color, like all the time, rather than just some of the time (like the other colors)... Which is why I though of Sultai, i think.

Honestly, this card is really cool.

I think it's cool too. Though I have a hard time visualizing its application in a deck. I can think of 5 uses.

1.) Destroy all equipment attached to target creature when I remove that creature from the board.
2.) Equipment attached to target creature can't be reattached to another creature.
3.) Protect my attached stuff from some future spell.
4.) Some rare combo which I have trouble imagining. 5.) Stuff that combos with merging itself.

Number 4 is roughly ignorable. It's either broken with card X or it isn't, and that just needs to be taken care of on a case by case basis.

As far as power level is concerned, I'm pretty sure we can just ignore number 5 as well. We tend to adjust the power of the bonuses instead of the thing giving the bonus.

That makes this a Funeral March for equipment, a Robe of Mirrors for your attached permanents, and I don't know... some sort of Null Rod, but specifically for equip costs on a selection of equipment that's already been equipped at least once. Am I missing something else? Because unless I'm being a goofball, I wouldn't pay one mana and a card for that privilege.

If this was instant speed, though, I could see why I would swing it. I can merge at end of turn and destroy the creature on my turn. I could protect my stuff in response to a rogue Disenchant. And I could cast this in response to my opponent attempting to move his equipment as a surprise. It's still not a great spell, but I could see putting one in a Commander deck for the funsies.

Am I missing something?

Not really. I didn't have any use case in mind, just thought of a weird interaction you could do with merging. The closest thing I had to a goal was to protect your buffs from removal, although it does weaken equipment to creature removal. Given how often it does nothing, it could definitely at least cantrip. It feels utility-wise a lot like Grip of Phyresis, in that you'll have times when you'd play it in a precon, but you'd never choose to put it in a deck

2020-04-29 05:25:47: dude1818 edited Gruesome Enhancements:

Sorcery -> instant, added cantrip

2020-05-26 20:11:09: dude1818 edited Gruesome Enhancements

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