Hee! Nice.

For a tiny bit more utility, how about "additional turns or additional [combat] phases"?

I thought about the additional turns, but it felt blue. I guess it's also anti-blue since it can still block.

Kinda niche; but I wouldn't be averse to seeing that niche expand a bit. What would a set where additional combat phases were a likely thing; be like? What colours other than red would is spread into?

Red gets additional turns if it throws the game afterwards. And while they haven't printed Final Fortune in a while, Glorious End infers they easily could.

It should also be pointed out that while blue is the traditional color of taking extra turns, no color is officially the exploiter of taking extra turns. And I don't see any reason why blue must be the color that exploits taking extra turns.

It's really ever so niche, I wonder if it could be a sub-par creature the rest of the time, rather than completely unusable?

Like perhaps being 0/3 and having "During additional combat phases or extra turns, ~ gets +3/+0"?

I'd rather just give the potential to take an additional combat phase as an activated ability (activation cost maybe?).

­Aggravated Assault was interesting in its time as being a powerful combo piece (untap all your creatures, for a cost of nothing but mana). That cost to cast, to activate and didn't attack itself. And it's just got an Invocation printing, indicating it's still got some lasting popularity. So I think would be too little with this card's current stats.