[NONCANON] My Random Shit: Virtual Booster

Brevver's Hassif    R  Legendary Creature – Hassif 9/9	Skeentith Thrill Seeker    U  Creature – Human Rebel Whenever Skeentith Thrill Seeker is dealt lethal damage but doesn't die, it becomes the Bane of Parents until end of turn 3/1	School    U  Land School enters the battlefield tapped and does not untap until you control three or more Teacher creatures : Add to spend only on Students 2KEWL4SKEWL	Rotagilla    U  Legendary Creature – Rotagilla Rotagilla is the Bane of Green things 3/3
I, Eye    C  Sorcery – Self-Realization You become a 1/1 blue Eye creature token with Flying, Curiosity (Whenever this creature deals combat damage to a player, draw a card.) and Protection from Everything until end of turn.	Quill    C  Artifact Quill is White When Quill enters the battlefield, you may have it deal 1 damage to a Bird you control, if you don't, exile it , Tap an untapped blue Human you control with converted mana cost 6 or greater: Create one two-hundredth of a Book token	A La Mode    C  Suffix Suffixed permanent is a white Food in addition to it's other colors and types. It has ", Sacrifice this permanent: You gain 1 life, you gain 2 life instead if you have eaten sugar this turn"	Tax    C  Instant Cast Tax only when a player casts a spell or activates an ability that target's you or a permanent you control Target player gives you $X.00 CAD where X is the spell or ability's converted mana cost
Cheesecake    C  Artifact – Food : Sacrifice Cheesecake, gain 1 life, activate this ability only if you have spent more than $49.99 CAD in the last fifteen seconds	Volatile Hitmyran    C  Creature – Hitmyran : +2/+0 until end of turn 3/2	Alphabet Soup    C  Artifact – Food : Add or and gain 2 life Whenever Alphabet Soup becomes tapped, choose a letter At the end of each turn, if you control a permanent with all the chosen letters in it's name, draw seven cards and gain 7 life. If not, sacrifice Alphabet Soup, discard seven cards and lose 7 life	Eat Cat    C  Instant Destroy target Cat. You gain 3 life Eat Cat costs less to cast if you are Asian and consent to this stereotype
Boost    C  Instant Open a booster pack, you may put a card from among it into your hand, then shuffle the dirty remains	Amoral Aetherborn    C  Creature – Aetherborn Deathtouch I am unsatisfied with my lifespan, so I will use my tools to increase it. 2/2	Grainforest    B  Basic Land : Add and you gain 9 life. Activate this ability only if you control six or more green creatures.	Fish  T  Token Creature – Fish Swimming (This creature cannot be blocked except by creatures with Swimming or Fishing) 2/2

Brevver's Hassif (rare)
Skeentith Thrill Seeker (uncommon)
School (uncommon)
Rotagilla (uncommon)
I, Eye (common)
Quill (common)
A La Mode (common)
Tax (common)
Cheesecake (common)
Volatile Hitmyran (common)
Alphabet Soup (common)
Eat Cat (common)
Boost (common)
Amoral Aetherborn (common)
Grainforest (basic)
Fish (token)