[NONCANON] My Random Shit: Virtual Booster

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Mechanics | Shiftrrs | Mechanics 2.0 | Set symbol | Grey Mana | Yellow Cards in this Set | Sins & Virtues | Basic Animal Groups | junk | verbosity gone wrong | Finishing Move Series | my shitpost | high quality shitpost 2
Printable
This booster was generated with modern collation since the cardset contains mythics: 1 rare / mythic, 3 uncommons, 10 commons, 1 basic land, 1 token.
You could alternatively have 15 random cards regardless of rarity.
 C 
Instant
Counter target counterspell
"Counter that."
"Heh good thing im splashing blue"
"Do we even want to play this game?"
"I think it's like Golf."
 
 R 
Legendary Creature – Superhuman Hero Elder Soldier
Captain America is Jeskai
Vigilance
Whenever Captain America blocks a creature, gain 1 life for each other Human you control
{t}: Other Humans you control get +1/+1 until end of turn
3/3
 U 
Sorcery
Search your library for a card named Despair Abandon and put it onto the battlefield. Then, shuffle.
 U 
Artifact – Structure
Habitat
{b}: Create three 1/1 black Insect creature tokens with haste. Activate this ability only if a creature is inhabiting this structure.
Creatures inhabiting this structure get -1/-1.
At the beginning of your end step, you lose 1 life for each creature inhabiting this structure. Then, if you have lost 6 or more life this turn, transform Butt-Fugly Shacc.
Gorgeous Mansion
 
 U 
Artifact – Structure
Habitat
Whenever you would gain life, you gain thrice that much life instead.
{t}: Target player may give you $X.00 CAD, where X is thrice your life total. If they don't, they lose the game.
 U 
Creature – Centaur
Horsemanship
Other Horses you control get +0/+2 and gain Trample
3/5
 C 
Creature – Human Child
Hungry 16 (When this creature is blocked, destroy all creatures blocking it and put sixteen +1/+1 counters on it for each creature that dies this way.)
0/1
{w}{w}
 
 C 
Enchantment
Cast Bedtime only if the sun is setting

{0}: Create a Dream token, activate this ability only if you are sleeping, and only if it has been 15 minutes since last being activated

When the sun rises, sacrifice Bedtime
{1}{w/g}
 
 C 
Creature – Donkey Astronaut
Assnaut cannot attack if defending player controls Lands
1/1
 C 
Artifact – Equipment
{t}: Tap target Food you control, gain 2 life or draw a card
{r}{r}{r}{t}: Eat some Food an opponent controls, if they don't get you back until end of turn, draw a card at your end step
{g}
 
 C 
Artifact – Food
{t}: Sacrifice Pickle, gain 1 life, instead gain 2 life if you have drunken vinegar today
{2}{u/b}
 
 C 
Enchantment
Whenever a Weird, Child or Idiot enters the battlefield, tap target creature and Cringe deals 1 damage to it
{1}{g}
 
 C 
Creature – Cow
Trample, Snorting ({g}: +1/+0 until end of turn)
2/2
 C 
Artifact – Equipment
Equip {0}
Equipped creature is Blue in addition to it's other colors, has Protection from blue, and gets +0/+1 for each blue creature in play

Blue creatures have protection from the equipped creature
 C 
Creature – Human Internetian
Haste
1/1
 B 
Basic Land
{t}: Add {w}, then you gain 1 life
 T 
Artifact – Food
{t}: Sacrifice Grey GMO Goo, gain 1 life, then feel sad and empty
I mean, it makes me feel a little better

NO, I AM THE COUNTERMAGE! (common, foil)
Captain America (rare)
Whispering Winds (uncommon)
Butt-Fugly Shacc (uncommon)
Codename: Equestrian (uncommon)
African Child (common)
Bedtime (common)
Assnaut (common)
Fork (The Utility) (common)
Pickle (common)
Cringe (common)
Bull (common)
Blue Bandana (common)
First Guy (common)
Wheatfarm (basic)
Grey GMO Goo (token)