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--> In response to jmgariepy on (((Quickened Flare))) [not associated] --> Feel free to ignore this, i have no idea why i wrote it
Okay but what about Quick Anti-Reach "this instant can respond to instants with quick reach"
then there is quicker anti-reach "this instant can respond to instants wth quick anti-reach"
also, ofc you'd need quickest anti-reach "this instant can respond to instant with quicker anti-reach"
and of course, those would be problematic, so you'd need to have
"this instant can respond to cards with quickest anti-reach"
IDEK what to call that mechanic, i guess quickester anti-reach? Actually yeah that's really really solid.
but those would be too strong, so you'd need, "quickestest anti-reach" to counterbalance it
of course, don't forget about 'quickest2 anti2reach' to balance out the previous cards...
Now that i think about it, there's a lot of cards that probably need multiple of those abilities to be playable and viable in standard, not especially limited, mostly constructed...
so you'd need a few cards with "protection from quick, quick reach, quick anti-reach, quicker anti-reach, quickest anti-reach, quickester anti-reach, quickestest anti-reach, quickest2 anti2 reach", and since that's pretty important it would probably need to be on commons , uncommons and rares as well as just the mythics
Hmm... looking at quickest2 anti2reach it is kind of weak, we should change the mechanic like how wotc changed wither to inflict... so, we'll add a new mechanic called KWIK-E which reads as "This resolves first always no matter what even if maro says otherwise dont listen to him he is a shapeshifting demon from outer space i dont have bipolar"
but, KWIK-E would prove to be wayyyy too dominating in most formats, so some KWIK-E cards would need to be added to the power 9... (((((Approximately))))) 59 cards would need to be put into the power 9, because this mechanic would have been too strng in a lot of sets, so need to be restricted in vintage and banned in legacy (or is it the other way around?)
Anyway, so the new Power Sixty Nine would teach rnd to not make cards like this anymore... except, a bit later, they release a promo card that has a mechanic called KWIK-EEH which stands for KWIK-E Extra Hfast and people like it because [somehow] its good, so they decide to use the mechanic in another set...
Just so you know, at this point, we have roughly 200 cards with some of these mechanics (it's been approx. 4 years since the present), so WOTC decides to try and bomb the secondary market to nuke these cards from orbit (rather than banning 10-20% of standard tbh not even joking) and make a Masters set... they call it Quickie Masters and it's their least well-sold set since kamigawa. For this reason, their Hasbro overlords inform that they cannot keep making flops, and tell them to ban the problematic part of that set: "The plane of dominaria (setting of Alpha, Beta, Unlimited, Antiquities, Legends, the dark, fallen empires, ice age, alliances, cold snap, mirage, visions, weatherlight, tempest, stronghold, exodus, urza block [1-3], invasion , plane shift, apocalypse, oddyseus journey, torment, judgement, onslaught, legions, scourge, time spiral, Dominaria (eponymous, (2018)), Return to Dominaria (more eponymity is less, 2022), Plane Shift: Dominia (2023) and Quickie Masters (never happened, like the [REDACTED] Massacre of 19XX in [CITY NAME HERE], [COUNTRY YOU DONT LIKE]." rnd is devastated, because dominaria has been such a big part of the game, but sadly they can never go back. they don't want a non-ending so they decide to say that sarpadian thrulls kiled everyone and nobody lived the end forever nope nobody lived nobody nope.
Anyway, their players have been incredibly happy with the neo-Quick mechanics, they can tell because they answered 1 out of 10 on every question relating to it (we are #1 we are #1 repeat ad nauseum)... So, they decide to make a set which is nothing but quick cards. They get early criticism that it will be too similar to quickie masters, which was released just last quarter, but they assure players that the flavor is a totally custom thing.
The new set, Quicky Masters comes out in late 2024, and is set in the trademarked plane of Wisconsin. The story involves Hypersonic the Echidna and his battle against Yolk Dude, pHD.
WOTC is shut down by Sega for violation of copyright. thousands of jobs are lost and Richard Garfield is found having drowned himself in a pile of paper cut blood, self-inclited by neo-Quick cards, all of which have cryptic messages written on them, which when assembled, say....
"""
Okay but what about Quick Anti-Reach "this instant can respond to instants with quick reach"
then there is quicker anti-reach "this instant can respond to instants wth quick anti-reach"
also, ofc you'd need quickest anti-reach "this instant can respond to instant with quicker anti-reach"
and of course, those would be problematic, so you'd need to have
"this instant can respond to cards with quickest anti-reach"
IDEK what to call that mechanic, i guess quickester anti-reach? Actually yeah that's really really solid.
but those would be too strong, so you'd need, "quickestest anti-reach" to counterbalance it
of course, don't forget about 'quickest2 anti2reach' to balance out the previous cards...
Now that i think about it, there's a lot of cards that probably need multiple of those abilities to be playable and viable in standard, not especially limited, mostly constructed...
so you'd need a few cards with "protection from quick, quick reach, quick anti-reach, quicker anti-reach, quickest anti-reach, quickester anti-reach, quickestest anti-reach, quickest2 anti2 reach", and since that's pretty important it would probably need to be on commons , uncommons and rares as well as just the mythics
Hmm... looking at quickest2 anti2reach it is kind of weak, we should change the mechanic like how wotc changed wither to inflict... so, we'll add a new mechanic called KWIK-E which reads as "This resolves first always no matter what even if maro says otherwise dont listen to him he is a shapeshifting demon from outer space i dont have bipolar"
but, KWIK-E would prove to be wayyyy too dominating in most formats, so some KWIK-E cards would need to be added to the power 9... (((((Approximately))))) 59 cards would need to be put into the power 9, because this mechanic would have been too strng in a lot of sets, so need to be restricted in vintage and banned in legacy (or is it the other way around?)
Anyway, so the new Power Sixty Nine would teach rnd to not make cards like this anymore... except, a bit later, they release a promo card that has a mechanic called KWIK-EEH which stands for KWIK-E Extra Hfast and people like it because [somehow] its good, so they decide to use the mechanic in another set...
Just so you know, at this point, we have roughly 200 cards with some of these mechanics (it's been approx. 4 years since the present), so WOTC decides to try and bomb the secondary market to nuke these cards from orbit (rather than banning 10-20% of standard tbh not even joking) and make a Masters set... they call it Quickie Masters and it's their least well-sold set since kamigawa. For this reason, their Hasbro overlords inform that they cannot keep making flops, and tell them to ban the problematic part of that set: "The plane of dominaria (setting of Alpha, Beta, Unlimited, Antiquities, Legends, the dark, fallen empires, ice age, alliances, cold snap, mirage, visions, weatherlight, tempest, stronghold, exodus, urza block [1-3], invasion , plane shift, apocalypse, oddyseus journey, torment, judgement, onslaught, legions, scourge, time spiral, Dominaria (eponymous, (2018)), Return to Dominaria (more eponymity is less, 2022), Plane Shift: Dominia (2023) and Quickie Masters (never happened, like the [REDACTED] Massacre of 19XX in [CITY NAME HERE], [COUNTRY YOU DONT LIKE]." rnd is devastated, because dominaria has been such a big part of the game, but sadly they can never go back. they don't want a non-ending so they decide to say that sarpadian thrulls kiled everyone and nobody lived the end forever nope nobody lived nobody nope.
Anyway, their players have been incredibly happy with the neo-Quick mechanics, they can tell because they answered 1 out of 10 on every question relating to it (we are #1 we are #1 repeat ad nauseum)... So, they decide to make a set which is nothing but quick cards. They get early criticism that it will be too similar to quickie masters, which was released just last quarter, but they assure players that the flavor is a totally custom thing.
The new set, Quicky Masters comes out in late 2024, and is set in the trademarked plane of Wisconsin. The story involves Hypersonic the Echidna and his battle against Yolk Dude, pHD.
WOTC is shut down by Sega for violation of copyright. thousands of jobs are lost and Richard Garfield is found having drowned himself in a pile of paper cut blood, self-inclited by neo-Quick cards, all of which have cryptic messages written on them, which when assembled, say....
"""