~ has every creature type ~'s power may not increase While ~ is in play, you may not cast spells, whenever an opponent casts a spell, give them a compliment All opponents spells cost X less where X is your life total At the beginning of your upkeep, put a Purity counter on ~ All other creatures have +X/+X where X is ~'s toughness ­: Remove any number of Purity counters from ~, for each counter removed this way, put two +0/+1 counter on ~ Pay 1 life: Target opponent gains 1 life, activate this ability every turn, or sacrifice ~

If ~ is destroyed, you must die within one hour

New (still stupid) text: Lord of the Selfless's power cannot be greater than 0. You cannot cast spells. Opponents spells cost less to cast, where X is Lord of the Selfless's toughness. Whenever an opponent casts a spell, they may gain 7 life. At the beginning of your upkeep, put a Purity counter on Lord of the Selfless. Creatures you don't control get +X/+X where X is Lord of the Selfless's toughness. ­, remove any number of Purity counters from Lord of the Selfless: For each counter removed this way, put three +0/+1 counters on Lord of the Selfless. Pay 1 life: Target opponent gains 1 life. At the beginning of each end step, if you didn't activate this ability this turn, sacrifice Lord of the Selfless. When Lord of the Selfless dies, you lose the game.