The idea here is that the worst two of three roughly 1C effects is worth about CEF. But I'm really not sure if it's balanced right, it's supposed to be effects which are some good in any situation, but less good if an opponent chooses when. But maybe it's still too good (should cost 1RUG?) or in fact usually unhelpful.

It was originally an instant, but I realised a lot of the effects were simpler but still interesting as a sorcery.

It may also be confusing: AIUI the opponent chooses modes, and then you choose targets for those modes. But I bet lots of people will misread it.

Hmm. Yeah, I'm not sure I'd guess that the opponent chooses the mode but then you choose the targets. I think you probably are right, but a bunch of players would probably get rather confused by it.

That said, I do like this idea; it's pretty clever.

I didn't realize that you still chose targets. Maybe make reminder text that says (You choose the targets.)?

Well, it's pretty clear "Opponent chooses one of {good things}" that it's either a stupidass broken pointless card, or the good things are stuff you get :)

But yeah, I only got it from context, not rules knowledge.

Personally, I'd aim to remove targeting from this card completely so there's never any confusion. That would change what the options were, granted, but it isn't like those options is tied to anything mechanic or flavor...

I guess you could replace "damage to target player" with "damage to each opponent", "three +1/+1 counters on target creature" with "a +1/+1 counter on each creature you control", "counter target spell" with "counter all other spells"... Yeah, it's probably doable.

That's better, but if people are going to be confused, I expect people to still think the opponent gets those effects. To be unambiguous, it would alas have to be three symmetrical effects, or be reworded somehow...