You may want to put the card in their hand. I should think that should make it look theoretically playable, but still have no one interested in playing it. Oddly, your effect could still be very good in a massive multiplayer. If seven players get their monsters, and you get 7 forced laborers, you could, in theory, drop Emrakul, the Aeons Torn into play next turn. I suppose anyone come up with a use for any bad card though...
"At the beginning of each opponents upkeep put a forced worker token on the battlefield, that opponent may search his/her library for a creature card and put it onto the battlefield."?
Seems quite bad (you may not want to play it) and fits the flavour (the longer you have it the more likely your opponents will kill you)...
I know I said this before, but FWIW, my strong preference for this card would be:
If possible, have a name that conveys the concept without actually being "concentration camp". But failing that, better to have a "concentration camp" card than to leave it out entirely.
I really, really don't like that the card produces tokens. To me that's the really gruesome part. (I think Sacrificing existing creatures you control would be a bit better but gaining control of your opponent's creatures would be worse.)
I like jmg's thoughts, you really don't want a "look, here's my concentration camp deck!" but I think making a deliberately complicated card is just likely to draw people's attention to it. I'd aim for something middle-of-the-roadish like an expensive black kill spell, where everyone is happy to play it in limited, but no-one seeks it out (but not exactly that, because the flavour doesn't work).
I agree that this card should probably exist in some format. WWII was not WWI. We can only make so many cards about people dying in foxholes and how unfair war is. At some point, genocide has got to be addressed or we aren't being honest.
That said, I think this is one of those few occasions where you're given the right to make a bad card. I don't think you want to have other players go "Yes! I want to make a Concentration Camp deck!". You kind of want players to go "Ew. Man, this sucks. I would only put this in my deck if I felt I really needed to make a Nazi Germany theme deck and wanted to be complete about it."
So how does one make a card that people don't like? I don't know... have you seen my article? I don't like self-promotion like that, but it's kind of hard when I covered the subject already.
The easy and quick way, though, is to give this two different drawbacks. People don't like drawbacks... having two of them just makes people squirm. If the card started off with:
Concentration Camp
Enchantent
At the beginning of your upkeep, lose 2 life.
Sacrifice a creature, :...
I think a number of players would forgive you for needing to make the card.
On the different approach: We haven't come clear with the history. It is still the oppinion of large parts of our society that Austria was rather a victim of Nazi Germany than playing a supporting role in the horrors of the Holocaust and WWII. For people who aknowlege the role "we" played it's often hard to find the right way to handle our history.
Have you thought about making this guy a hedgerow? That was a big deal for a bit in WWII. If you make it a hedgerow, maybe you could make it unable to block tanks (which could crunch right through hedgerows). Also, this isn't Dominaria - plants on Earth are not sentient, and unless they have thorns, they won't be doing any damage to anything unless it's over a long long period of time.
Also to represent the confusing nature of the hedgerows, you could possibly do some kind of Detain-style thing to the creatures this card blocks. This would obviously require that the card be tweaked for power level concerns.
Quick comment on the offensive nature of this - you're almost certain to find someone somewhere who finds this offensive. That said, I think this set would be incomplete without it, as the camps were a huge part of WWII. I personally believe that history should not be buried.
Also, I would love to see a white counterpart to this called Internment Camp.
Also, I'm also very interested to know what you mean by 'a different approach'. Like what?
Oh, wow. That is bad. :)
You may want to put the card in their hand. I should think that should make it look theoretically playable, but still have no one interested in playing it. Oddly, your effect could still be very good in a massive multiplayer. If seven players get their monsters, and you get 7 forced laborers, you could, in theory, drop Emrakul, the Aeons Torn into play next turn. I suppose anyone come up with a use for any bad card though...
Ok, time for a new try:
"At the beginning of each opponents upkeep put a forced worker token on the battlefield, that opponent may search his/her library for a creature card and put it onto the battlefield."?
Seems quite bad (you may not want to play it) and fits the flavour (the longer you have it the more likely your opponents will kill you)...
made it cheaper by (g)
changed the name
Oh, thanks for the info.
Sadly the name is taken by Book Burning. You could probably come up with a very similar name.
I know I said this before, but FWIW, my strong preference for this card would be:
I agree that this card should probably exist in some format. WWII was not WWI. We can only make so many cards about people dying in foxholes and how unfair war is. At some point, genocide has got to be addressed or we aren't being honest.
That said, I think this is one of those few occasions where you're given the right to make a bad card. I don't think you want to have other players go "Yes! I want to make a Concentration Camp deck!". You kind of want players to go "Ew. Man, this sucks. I would only put this in my deck if I felt I really needed to make a Nazi Germany theme deck and wanted to be complete about it."
So how does one make a card that people don't like? I don't know... have you seen my article? I don't like self-promotion like that, but it's kind of hard when I covered the subject already.
The easy and quick way, though, is to give this two different drawbacks. People don't like drawbacks... having two of them just makes people squirm. If the card started off with:
Concentration Camp
:...
Enchantent
At the beginning of your upkeep, lose 2 life.
Sacrifice a creature,
I think a number of players would forgive you for needing to make the card.
On the different approach: We haven't come clear with the history. It is still the oppinion of large parts of our society that Austria was rather a victim of Nazi Germany than playing a supporting role in the horrors of the Holocaust and WWII. For people who aknowlege the role "we" played it's often hard to find the right way to handle our history.
It's from the song "Zapatista"
Implemented Mandroids sugestions
Nice idea! Thanks.
clearified
Sick reprint. I really like the flavor text as well.
Have you thought about making this guy a hedgerow? That was a big deal for a bit in WWII. If you make it a hedgerow, maybe you could make it unable to block tanks (which could crunch right through hedgerows). Also, this isn't Dominaria - plants on Earth are not sentient, and unless they have thorns, they won't be doing any damage to anything unless it's over a long long period of time.
Also to represent the confusing nature of the hedgerows, you could possibly do some kind of Detain-style thing to the creatures this card blocks. This would obviously require that the card be tweaked for power level concerns.
relevant info: http://www.worldwar2history.info/Normandy/hedgerows.html
This is vauge - does it mean they all get the same bonuses or that you get to choose a bonus for each different token which is created?
Quick comment on the offensive nature of this - you're almost certain to find someone somewhere who finds this offensive. That said, I think this set would be incomplete without it, as the camps were a huge part of WWII. I personally believe that history should not be buried.
Also, I would love to see a white counterpart to this called Internment Camp.
Also, I'm also very interested to know what you mean by 'a different approach'. Like what?