Inspired by the Homelands Restored set, I'm diggin' through the cards rated less than 1 on Gatherer and seeing if I can pull them up a bit! This is from Juju Bubble. Maybe not terrible in a multiplayer game!

Still fairly terrible. In fact this seems worse than Juju Bubble. Juju Bubble was useful once you had 6+ mana, and could spend a couple of turns sandbagging and doing nothing (to gain... maybe 4 life one turn and 3 the next? Well, it was still pretty terrible.) This one you have to avoid playing lands for several turns to even gain 3 life.

Yeah; pretty awful. Even in multiplayer it's a healing salve unless you're completely mana-screwed and can't do a thing. Or if you've already gone epic.

Still, there's a space here. Just needs the life gain dial turned up a bit higher. Quadrupled, say.

Quadrupled? That seems absurd to me, but... well, yeah, casting spells is normally seen as a good thing. And gaining life probably isn't what you want to be doing in the early game. Still, that's a pretty strong effect for a dead hand to have. Hmm...

One of the gatherer comments on the original suggested that a 2 mana:1 life ratio was considered normal at the time, so maybe the best equivalent would be just to change ": gain 1 life" to "[1}: gain 1 life". That wouldn't be bad, a stream of life you can use on one turn, and again on the next turn most of the time, and maybe several more turns if you don't draw anything useful. Although it still looks awful, so maybe it should change to a simpler version with a similar effect.