OK, taking a cue from jmg's https://www.jmgariepy.com/2017/07/19/the-cube-according-to-not-gatherer-part-11-random-generator-blowout-bonanza/ let's try a triple mash of a magic random generator card, a hearthstone card, and a redemption bible-based CCG card!

We got:

https://hearthstone.gamepedia.com/Abusive_Sergeant

Abusive sergeant. If I'm reading that right it's a 1 mana 1/1 with an ETB giving a target +2/+0. I can't remember how hearthstone colours work so I ignored that.

https://redemption.fandom.com/wiki/Potiphar%E2%80%99s_Wife_(Wo)

Potiphar's wife. I forgot this part of the story. After Joseph is sold by his brothers into slavery, he rises in importance, but then (according to the narrative) his master's wife tries to seduce him, and when he rejects her, she accuses him of having assaulted her, and he's thrown in prison where he ALSO rises in importance and eventually interprets the pharoah's dreams.

In Redemption there are Good Characters and Bad Characters, and you use your Good Character to fight an opponent's Bad Character, and if you win, you rescue one of the lost souls in their house of bondage. If you rescue enough souls you win. Your deck must contain a minimum number of lost souls, if you draw one you put it into the house of bondage and draw another card. But some other cards put characters from play into the house of bondage, like this one.

Which is a 2/2. Gold, whatever those colours mean. And if she defeats a male character, it's "exiled".

https://www.toothycat.net/wiki/bnf.pl?page=AlexChurchill/MagicCardGenerator

Finally a randomly generated card. No permanent link here.

Creature - bird (2/2, white) Flying First strike First strike

Converted mana cost: 4

So... 2/2. Probably white. Flying. First strike twice. One-off pump. And some sort of exile-on-die ability. Let's see if we can get one sensible magic card out of that... :)