I think the last ability should also have "and remove all damage from it," so that if it's animated and dealt damage it doesn't start an infinite loop. You replace its destruction, but it'll still have lethal damage marked on it and will be destroyed the next time SBAs are checked.

I suspect it's meant to just be "When ~ is destroyed" (which might be more standard as "When ~ is put into a graveyard from the battlefield", though "destroyed" is shorter).

Eh, it was just supposed to be about the land being destroyed, but I suppose there's no reason to inhibit a player gaining the effect if they chose to sac the land, so I may as well change the wording.

No, this has still got the problem. This says "if", which is a marker of replacement effects: "If X would happen, instead Y." So this is trying to stop this land being destroyed. I don't think that's what you want. If you just want the land dying to give some bonus effect when it does happen, you want "when".