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CardName: Grasp Conclusions Cost: 1GG Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Unconscious (You may discard this card as you cast a spell with a different name and the same mana value. When you do, each player copies this card and may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.) Reveal the top five cards of your library. Add up to one creature and up to one land revealed this way to your hand, and put all other cards revealed this way into your graveyard. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: Moranshi- the Abnormal Collectives Uncommon Unconscious (You may discard this card as you cast a spell with a different name and the same mana value. When you do, each player copies this card and may cast the copy without paying its mana cost.)
Reveal the top five cards of your library. Add up to one creature and up to one land revealed this way to your hand, and put all other cards revealed this way into your graveyard. |
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That's a novel for a fairly simply effect
Oof. Wordy wordy words words.
How about replacing that last very long sentence with "When you discard ~ [with its unconscious ability], each player may cast a copy of it"?
It looks like all the unconscious cards have the same effect when triggered. The whole ability could probably be in the keyword, as "You may discard this card as you cast a spell with a different name and the same mana value. When you do, each player copies this card and may cast the copy without paying its mana cost."
A side note that I hope doesn't come off as me just piling on: I like the word 'Unconscious' but I get the impression that you'd get more space if you made the keyword a keyword action.
Let's say the keyword was 'Sleep'. Instead of "If Grasp Conclusions is Unconscious when it enters the graveyard..." you could instead write "When Grasp Conclusions sleeps..." It would be much tighter over multiple cards that way.
I've got no objections to shortening the wording. Dude1818's suggestion would fit the best.
I considered jmgariepy's suggestion, but no adequate verb comes to mind as I'm using Unconscious as a noun.