[EMCEDES] Starrbux: Cardlist | Visual spoiler | Export | Booster | Comments | Search | Recent activity |
CardName: Coffee Cost: 1b Type: Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {w}: Put a Milk counter on Coffee {1}{t}, Remove X Milk counters from Coffee (X cannot be 0): You gain twice X life {2}{T}, Sacrifice Coffee: Gain 4 life, then you may untap a creature you control Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [EMCEDES] Starrbux Common |
History: [-] |
Coffee's mana cost may only be payed with
or
When Coffee enters the battlefield, sacrifice it unless
was spent to cast it
For each
spent in Coffee's mana cost, put a Milk counter on it
: Put a milk counter on Coffee
: Gain 2 life

: Gain 2 life, then remove X Milk counters from Coffee, gain 2 life for each Milk counter removed this way

: Sacrifice Coffee, remove all Milk counters from it, for each Milk counter removed this way, gain 3 life
Probably shouldn't seriously comment on a joke card; but.
Wow; that's roughly twice as many words that fit on a card. Let's try and trim it down a bit.
The first clause can be dropped - only black and white mana does anything anyway. If someone wants to randomly feed extra mana in to no effect, let them.
Sacrifice unless they paid
. Ok; make the mana cost 
and you can drop that clause too.
The white milk counter on ETB.. could be tightened slightly. But the next clause means you can drop it completely. Casting cost is now just
, and you can add milk as needed.
The combination of
and 
for the gain life isn't needed. Drop the first one.
The final clause is fiddly, but is distinct, and can at least be simplified a bit - removing the counters isn't needed when it's being sacrificed.
Wording of the card is now the much shorter:
: Put a milk counter on ~

, Remove X milk counters from ~: Gain 2 life, then gain twice X life.

, Sacrifice ~: Gain 3 life for each milk counter on ~.
Which is still too much wording for a common; let alone a joke card :)
wordy can be funny, so your last statement i disagree with in half.
And sure, I will use this new wording, thanks for the time !