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I think I like this; white was prime in the 'sweep' mechanic from, um, kamigawa2 I think?
The keywording is unfortunate though, yeah. Maybe the simpler way to go is for white to be able to grant things convoke?
I was definitely reading that as "
, 
: ..." before I read through your synopsis.
I had some similar kind of design in the works a couple of weeks ago that I gave up on. There were a lot of variants, but I think one of them was something along the lines of:
> Name
to your mana pool.
: Exile ~ until the beginning of your next turn's precombat main phase. (maybe "at sorcery speed" restriction here?)
> Creature
> When ~ ETBs, add
>
> 1/3
In exploring ramp in other colors, white has been the hardest as I don't know white to have any precedence for gaining mana. White gets a lot of creatures, and I thought, hey, maybe there's a way to tie white's creatures into mana gen. So I came up with creatures exiling themselves UEOT for mana production. I added a tap activation so that player's couldn't attack with creatures and then exile them UEOT for mana during their second main phase. Well now this treads on green's mana dork area, giving nothing more than evasion after you gen mana.
Also, if I were to go with this design, which I likely won't, Sunbless might look weird. The
outside of the parentheses is supposed to show how much mana you're adding when you Sunbless the creature. A two-drop might only Sunbless one mana, but a six-drop creature could Sunbless 3 mana.
I'm looking for a mechanic for white to have a big mana pool that doesn't necessarily rely on having a lot of lands.
Alternatively, could I do a replacement effect? "UEOT, if combat damage would be dealt to a creature, player, or planeswalker, you gain that much green mana instead. That mana doesn't empty... next endstep."
However, I could potentially give blue a higher count of flash creatures that normal. There's also the potential to snowball instants as well.
I think design space is pretty much unlimited. "Effect/bigger effect if first thing this turn" covers a heck of a lot of ground.
The only problem I see is that, well, it's pretty easy to invoke and you'll pretty much always go for the bigger one.
But maybe that's ok; you just need to cost everything the second way.
Test #1 of Visionary mechanic. I don't if this mechanic actually feels "visionary." Having multiple instances of the card in your deck wouldn't feel visionary, but adding a clause about not having a spell with the same in your graveyard would feel tacky.
Next concern is that the design space is limited.
This would probably be a common as it's spider to be just the mechanic on a creature, so it'd go without any other abilities. I was brainstorming attempts for blue to generate more mana (for a theme of lots of mana in the mana pool).
Hmm; you kinda need to be casting two spells in their turn for that to actually be useful. It feels a bit yucky for this to not have some way to sink the excess blue mana. Toughness breathing; perhaps?
See Pullu Spikeshell.
After further consideration, this will probably be too strong in general.
Oh turds, I forgot Brainstorm exists!
See Flametipped Hunter. Blue mechanic for mana generation?
Moving Mark of Sakiko to red as a mechanic. I'm not sure of the name yet. Potential names included Fervor and Passion.
Included vogue
The first ability should probably be "As an additional cost to cast ~, tap all lands you control." I think this was for the set where I want a lot of mana in player's mana pools, so this was supposed to give you some life if you didn't end up pooling your mana for something big.
I guess that being said, if the player doesn't tap all their lands before casting this card, that's on them. The downside would be if they wanted to combat trick this creature specifically, the tapping lands wouldn't go well with that.
Why are those two triggered abilities... two triggered abilities? Why not one? Just so you can stack them incorrectly and not gain life because the lands didn't get tapped until afterwards?
> "..., then you gain 1 life for each land tapped this way."
I'm not super excited about this design space either way, to be honest. Something would really need to care about those tapped lands to make me want to put this in a set over a simple "Gain life equal to the number of lands you control" - at the appropriate cost.
I guess you can rule it any way you like. But it doesn't seem consistent. Put this alongside another card that says "Rap a target" - that ca surely tap artifacts and lands?
Nah, it can't hit land. As WOM Devign Team linked on Warstorm Surge https://twitter.com/mtgaaron/status/906205981993865216
eh, it's red. go ahead and allow it to backfire sometimes.
Though as written, this will usually target lands and fizz
Ooh, conditionals! What's your goal?
If the target pool is meant to include: the attacking creature, any opponent, and any other creature, but specifically exclude you, you'd do "a random target creature or opponent".
I've taken to the simple wording of "target" rather than "target [thing] or [other thing]." That being said, if this card was changed to not hit you or your stuff, could I still use "any random target you don't control"? That sounds like it could hit yourself still. Should the wording want "any random target you don't control other than yourself"?
Test for a set that wants hella lands and/or mana and how to do that in traditionally unrampy colors such as white.
See Loam Totem. Name doesn't connect to elements associate with Magic's white, unlike the rest of the cycle. Ability also has no association with concept of quartz and was just generic white ability.
See Tar Totem.
See Ice Totem.
See Basalt Totem.