If you add that clause you don't need the "for the first time each turn" anymore. :)

There is a bit of ambiguity in the wording of the trigger condition: Does it trigger the first time it becomes attached to any creature or the first time for each creature?

I the first case I'd suggest a wording with "This ability triggers only once each turn."

For the second one, I think a wording with an intervening if-clause "if it's the first time this Equipment becomes attached to that creature this turn" might be the way to go.

You know what a set with elbow grease could use? One of these neat little noncreature artifact artifact tokens that you can spend the elbow grease mana on.

Not a particular fan of the metalcraft ability chose here. Makes you count twice - once three artifacts for metalcraft and the the Golems for the actual amount of damage.

At common a 3/3 for three is now a fine place for a common, so a flat 1 or 2 damage for metalcraft probably suffices. Actually the original plain effect might with the reduced cost.

In this new world designed for eternal, commons have raised the floor in power level, I can see this at . Not sure where you are aiming though.

This is still below Splicer's Skill. At four mana, even at common, you'd expect flashback or some set ability. See Retrieve the Esper.

"where X is the"?

The people of Tornipuch have been tired, but many have been trying to create the best world they can, but cynicism has been denying the peoples this. The cynicism perhaps being rooted in Tornipuch being mirror capable of seeing itself. Such magic that could cure such doubt existed, though it's knowledge wasn't written as the arts needed to perform the spells were not consistent, some being born from song and stomping, others dances that mirrored the stars of the heavens, some just in celebration. Neitner magical mimicry nor physical ritual of the act recreate a Coronet of the People's Will. These items are rare and hard not usable all. It is rare for someone to keep the coronet on for long for they often find themselves in conflict. That, can be fatal for either side.

­Nirk the Awakener, a golem made from scraps gathered when looking for dreamstone slivers left by Edikolt, Dread Somaturgist to serve in Donprill to guard the city against threats.

Nirk awoke with the Coronet of the People's Will after he saved fellow Golems from being executed for scrap.

Dreamstone, sometimes called Yildaulm- a crime for stolen dreams in the outwilds, is a material that Edikolt, Dread Somaturgist can produce from stealing dreams. The metal is in slivers, undetectable to most. Still, skilled artisans can craft with enough of the slivers and form shields, which can weave between clay and stone in an instant.
The shields can be powerful, but nothing is perfect.

It's niche, but cards in set do offer support Lava Catapult and Flameblast Duelist, and possibly (but perhaps not probably) Engineer Archmage, Shocking Jolt, and Warforge Foundry.

The evasion was a top-down flavor addition, although that may not be clear without flavor text. The idea was that the weight of the morning star is enough that it would crush anyone already injured.

I feel, this evasion criterion is really niche. Often damage before combat just removes the blocker entirely.

And I don't see this as something particularly related to this set. Am I missing something?