Random Generator gave me Final Punishment and Dragon's Claw. How the heck come they haven't printed this card yet?

Probably because it's a bit confusing with regard to combat. If I attack you with three 2/2s and a 4/4 first striker, that'll trigger this twice, but you'd probably get people thinking you'd get anything from one to four to fourteen triggers. You might avoid some of that if it was worded as "Whenever an opponent is dealt one or more damage".

Fair enough... its a simple change. While we're at it, why don't we add the phrase "from a single source" so we can really hammer into how and when this gets applied.

No, now that I look at it, players might assume that if two sources are simultaneously dealing damage, they don't lose life. Hmm. That is tricky. I'd make the spell care about attacking creatures or say "for each creature" or something to make it easier to grasp, but then I lose the integrity of Final Punishment. I'll have to think on this one.

Added the word 'source' to make it simultaneously more confusing, and hopefully make a few players step back and ask "Hey, what is a source?"

I'm really not sure that's a question you want people to be asking...

Heh. Probably true, but I don't have too many options here. I think I'll end up running it like this, having a draft, then seeing if the people who ended up with a copy of this play it right. If they do, whether its because someone corrected them without my help, or they figure out how it works on their own, then I'll consider it problem solved. The set, after all, is not meant for public consumption, but for those who would end up at a game store and would participate in a casual tournament. If it's still sticky, though, it gets retooled somehow.