Isn't this something you'd never want to play? What am I overlooking?

I guess it could be used in some strange Forced Fruition mill deck, or in conjunction with an Underworld Dreams effect.

Maybe you should add that clause.

"Whenever an opponent draws a card, he or she loses 1 life."

Perhaps "You may make that player draw four cards"? Otherwise, I don't think that even the Forced Fruition players would pack it. For a card like this to be relevant, I fear you'd need to add some really broken cards to your set. For example, I could see this as a decent follow up to Black Vise, but Black Vice shouldn't be reprinted. It's too good at what it does. The same with mill... if your mill cards are so good that you think this card is playable, your mill cards are probably too good.

I kind of feel like this is the sort of debate that actually justifies a design like this. Sets need bad cards, and if not bad cards, cards that look bad enough that a Johnny somewhere wants to break them. (See Previous comments about Forced Fruition and Underworld Dreams. Jace's Archivist also seems appropriate here. )

I'm not saying it's perfect. Just that somebody is going to get some weird-ass idea sparked, and will find a way to make it a key piece in a rogue deck. That's how these things happen.

Well, I recommend two things:

1. Fix the flavor. Considering that drawing four cards is basically the best feeling in the world, I don't understand its association with migraines or cricket-crack dens.

2. I notice you've pumped it up to a 4/1. Which does make this a bit more analogous to a punisher-effect, but I think the Johnnies of the world would appreciate it if this didn't exclusively trigger off of combat damage. Instead:

Whenever CARDNAME deals damage to a player, that player draws that many cards.

It will still be befuddling to the average player, and there's no way in hell Spike would give this a chance, but you'd at least allow Johnny to come with ways to get it damage himself, or find some combo to give it infinite power and force their opponent to draw their whole deck.

I had actually considered that very idea, and that's what led to this. My concern was that it would be too easy to find ways to hit yourself with it ( (((Rage Bomb))), for one). Probably not as big a deal as I was afraid of.

There's a whole in your last scenario; if Johnny finds a way to hit an opponent with this enough to mill them out, then the opponent is, in 99% of cases, already dead from actual damage.

I'll rework the cricket's ability. I'd rather see people look at a card and go, “Huh, well....”, than see them say “Ugh. Crappy pack”. In which case, yes, the copy probably needs to change as well.

But what if he has Platinum Angel out? Or he casts Angel's Grace? Or Phyrexian Unlife + Melira?

What if it's Magical Christmas Land every day?

But yeah, I wouldn't be concerned about it being too easy. It's still a puzzle to put together. And if we're talking too easy, let's talk about Swans of Bryn Argoll. SICK BURNS!

Dude. Swans was my design.

Let's just say I had my suspicions.

Anyway, I think you can put a bow on this bug and ship it.