For Challenge # 076. I got the Suspend and first line fast, but I got to admit that I have no idea what this card shoud do when it resolves. I tried to do something very mythic... but it doesn't really fit the theme of the song. Any suggestions are welcome.

Was originally 3 9/9 demons. Now a 13/13 Medusa. Since the creature is now more vulnerable, I added protection from spells or permanents with converted mana cost three or less. Also removed trample, because two evasions should be plenty. Still not right, but at least feels better.

Fun :)

Given the song, I think it needs to be a single huge-ass no-downside female-archetype token (medusa is a good choice there) rather than three big tokens. (Though I guess that was aiming at a different meaning of 'aint one')

Mmm. Three isn't one. But I assume that point would be lost on most people.

Funny thing is, if you break down the lyrics of the song... I think Jay-Z is saying "I have a lot of problems too... but you don't see me bitching about it (a bitch ain't one)". He pretty much just says that in the last line. I don't think he's talking about a woman... though, to be honest, he might be.

puts on nerd hat
looks up the meaning of rap on wikipedia

According to wikipedia, the "99 problems but a bitch aint one" lyrics were based on an earlier song by Ice T, which talks more about actual relationship problems, but still has a theme of "black people in America have enough to worry about, don't overthink relationship issues". (And despite the very gendered language doesn't seems to generally be pro sex-is-fun-for-everyone.)

Jay Z says he's actually referring to a police dog which didn't search his car for drugs when some police officers illegally stopped him because he was black in verse two.

But I suspect it's referring to more than one thing: the allusion to the earlier song is presumably deliberate, and it probably means something else too.

­:)