Vigilance, Haste
The Eighth Heir: Whenever Jô enters the battlefield or attacks, create a 1/1 token named Dependent Child with “This creature can’t block”
Court Order: Whenever an opponent casts a spell or ability that targets Jô, you may pay $

$, where $X$ is the total number of Dependent Child tokens you control. If you don't, Jô phases out and is placed into Detention until you pay the debt during your next main phase.
"He can find the back of the net, but he can never find the jurisdiction of a family court."