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CardName: Raccoon Noob Bookkeeper Cost: 2GUU Type: Legendary Creature - Raccoon Pow/Tgh: 1/3 Rules Text: Tap another target creature you control: Draw a card for each pair of consecutive identical letters in the name of that creature. Flavour Text: A virtuoso of food, deep pool looting and repeating characters. Set/Rarity: Silver Cards With No Home Uncommon

Raccoon Noob Bookkeeper
Legendary Creature – Raccoon
Tap another target creature you control: Draw a card for each pair of consecutive identical letters in the name of that creature.
A virtuoso of food, deep pool looting and repeating characters.
Illus. Baudolino Aulari (YouTube)
Updated on 1 Nov 2020 by Lee

History: [-]

2020-09-04 18:21:57: Lee created the card Raccoon Noob Bookkeeper
2020-09-04 18:22:39: Lee edited Raccoon Noob Bookkeeper

Reminder text: Spaces between words don't count as letters, and don't make identical letters on either side of the space non-consecutive.

That name is fantastic.

The card itself might wants a teeny tiny bit of rebalancing, given that at the moment it reads "Haste. {t}: Draw 8 cards."

But however you nerf it, don't nerf the name, because the name is amazing.

2020-09-13 15:34:34: Lee edited Raccoon Noob Bookkeeper:

Now Legendary and it's another creature. It can't use itself or another copy of itself, as there can't be another copy of it.

Oh, and whilst I'm revisiting this post, another piece of reminder text: Triple letters (Yahoo Ogre) only count as a single pair, but four of them (Dunwall Llama) count twice. That is, each letter can only contribute to one pairing.

Seems reasonable. Now you make people want to use Spark Double or Helm of the Host to use its own name, because that's far more effective than any other name printed, but that's a fun combo for silly people to dream of pulling off :) Other ways: _____, Spy Kit (!! actually that'll just insta-deck you unless you have Obstinate Familiar or Laboratory Maniac), or Mirror Gallery plus normal clone effects. I love this card so much, in case that wasn't clear :D

Just seen your latest comment, Alex, and it would indeed be fun to have _______ come into play and be called 'ooeeooeeooeeooeeooeeooeeooeeooeeooee'. In past games, out of interest, I've called it 'Pack my Box with five dozen Liquor jugs' (in combo with 'Now I know my ABC's); 'Eight-and-a-half Tails' and 'NOT Eight-and-a-half Tails' (there was a Pious Kitsune in play).

You can't change ______ into names of not existing cards. Make up a card called "Pack my Box with five dozen Liquor jugs" (or "The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog"). The effect is irrelevant; "you lose the game" is good enough.

Putting targets in a cost isn't something that is normally (if ever) done, although this will still work, as long as the creature is still there by the time the ability resolves (since that is its only target, and if all of its targets are now invalid then it won't work; if it says "target untapped creature" then it won't work, because the cost would invalidate the target).

Yeah, sadly the rulings on _____ in the FAQTIWDAWCC are pretty clear that it can only assume names of existing cards:

Can I change this card to be Jojo, the Dog-faced Lizard Boy?


Can I change it to be Solar-Powered Ninja Penguin?


Can I change it to be Siamese Pygmy Pole Vaulter?

No. To save us some space, maybe I should let you know what it can become. You may change this card to have the name of any Magic card in existence. The reason for this is there's this picky little rule that only allows you to change items into things that exist in the game. (Stupid comp rules.)

That just imposes a restriction that's more interesting to work around, though.

Now I got curious what the best options are. I downloaded a list of cats from mtgjson and did some searching with grep and sed. The best I found was Thrill-Kill Assassin which could have been custom made for this. There are a variety of cards three pairs which might help make a deck.

I was hoping some split cards would do well, but they wouldn't be creature, but in fact, the only cards the search turned up with more than four pairs were double sided cards, which don't have both names at any point during play, only in gatherer.

If you allow multiple letters in a row to count as pairs, the best was Clock of DOOOOOOOOOOOOM (which isn't a creature), which exceeded the raccoon. Otherwise nothing improved much on the ones I already found.

The most recent un set had much less open ended cards. That was better for actually playing but I wish there had been SOME of them at uncommon and rare. I want something that can invent names of cards that don't already exist, but not just let you choose whatever you like :)

This raccoon has 8 double-letter pairs in it, sixteen letters in a row. I'm pretty sure if you animate Clock of DOOOOOOOOOOOOM! it only draws six cards, where a Spark Double of this would let you draw eight. See Lee's ruling from 13th September.

The recent Un-sets have been better for limited, but with occasional massively open-ended things at rare. I have a small pile of cards sitting on my bookshelf for a potential Do-it-Yourself Seraph deck that I might end up building one of these years. :)

That's why I said "if" :) I did misread it though, I thought it wasn't counting multiple letters at all, counting distinct pairs makes sense, although I think counting each possible pair is more Johnny :)

Oh yeah, Seraph does seem enticing. What did you consider pairing it with?

Let's see. My stack currently contains: a few Pili-Pala on general principles; Trading Post; Handy Dandy Clone Machine; Summoning Station; Modular Monstrosity; Transmogrifying Licid; Ashnod's Altar; Leonin Sun Standard, Crackdown Construct and Cogwork Assembler. It wasn't exactly a detailed plan for a particular combo, though I'm sure there are plenty; just a few "ooh, these look like they have potential..."

Also a Voracious Vacuum which I'm not sure what it's doing there, a Hovermyr that's more "for the same deck", and Knacksaw Clique similarly. Or maybe I was thinking of putting Transmogrifying Licid on the Knacksaw Clique? Who knows.

Wasn't aware that this was still attracting comments after I left it sitting here a while ago. Thrill-Kill Assassin would be great with this, Jack V; and thank you Alex for clarifying correctly that an animated clock of DOOOOOOOOOOM! would only be a six count. On the flip side, I had absolutely no idea that you couldn't give ________ non-pre-existing names. How about the flavor text ability... oh, hang on, it's not an ability because it's actual flavour text. But just what if?

If you read the link to the FAQTIWDAWCC which I posted earlier, you'll find straight after the bit I quoted:

So can I use the ability in flavor text to change the card's flavor text?

Just between us, there is a little rule that states that flavor text has no rules relevance. But there's also a rule that says that the card supercedes the rulebook. It really comes down to this, someone just has to make a decision. Now if that person had been a rules person, he might have made his decision based on criteria like rules integrity or rules consistency. But as the guy writing the FAQ(TIWDAWCC), it comes down to me. I have a completely different set of criteria: what's more fun? And with that criteria the answer is clear. Of course you can use the ability. Just remember that you can only change the flavor text into a piece of flavor text that exists on another card.

I still think that _____ should be able to have novel flavour texts. They can reprint cards with new flavour texts (I think??) so it seems like there's not the same restriction on "set of all valid flavour texts" that there is on names or card texts.

Are there any un cards that break if you get arbitrary flavour text?

Not really. My First Tome and Everythingamajig-D are the only ones that can abuse ____, and they can do that anyway. Everything else merely cares about the existence of flavor text.

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