SM Joke Card Dump: Virtual Booster

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Printable
This booster was generated with modern collation since the cardset contains mythics: 1 rare / mythic, 3 uncommons, 10 commons, 1 basic land.
You could alternatively have 15 random cards regardless of rarity.
Blazing Pact
{0}
 
 R 
Colour indicator R Sorcery
Blazing Pact deals an amount of damage of your choice to target creature or player.
At the beginning of your next upkeep, pay {x}{r}, where X is the amount of damage Blazing Pact dealt this way. If you don't, you lose the game.
Smallmox
{0}
 
 U 
Artifact
{t}: Add one fourth of a mana of any color to your mana pool.
"I would not eat it with a Rhox,
I would not beat it down with Pox."
-My First Tome
Aether's Embrace
{2}{r}
 
 U 
Enchantment
Oozes are red.
Vehicles crewed
by two or more creatures
get +2/+2.
But the Heart of Kiran
will be watching you.
Ajani's Primate
{1}{g}{w}
 
 U 
Creature – Ape
As long as you control an Ajani planeswalker, Ajani's Primate gets +3/+3 and has defender, and that planeswalker's loyalty abilities cost an additional +1 to activate.
3/3
Nesting Sliver
{4}{g}
 
 C 
Creature – Sliver
All Slivers have "All Slivers get +0/+1 and have this ability" and this ability.
1/1
One with Something
{w}
 
 C 
Instant
Draw your hand. (Lay it flat against a sheet of paper and run along the outline with a pen or pencil, then color it and show it to your mommy.)
Mirrodin's Coors
{6}
 
 C 
Artifact Creature – Ooze
Hexproof (This permanent is 3% alcohol by volume.)
Whenever Mirrodin's Coors deals damage to a creature, tap that creature and it doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.
{6}: Recycle Mirrodin's Coors. (Sacrifice it. If you do, put a token onto the battlefield that's a copy of it.)
2/6
Five-Dollar Wrench
{b}
 
 C 
Sorcery
Destroy target creature that has a card encoded on it.
"We may not be able to break your secrets, but we can certainly break you."
--Teysa Karlov
Energizer Bunny
{r}{r}
 
 C 
Ongoing Creature – Rabbit
(Energizer Bunny keeps going and going...)
Energizer Bunny enters the battlefield with 20 charge counters on it.
When Energizer Bunny has no charge counters on it, go to the store and buy a new one.
Illus. Energizer Holdings, Inc.
2/2
Tutu Cat
{1}{g}
 
 C 
Creature – Cat
Tutu Cat is 2/2.
I CAN HAZ PLUS SEVNTEEN PLUS SEVNTEEN? BUT NOT IF I HAZ TO WEAR DIS HUMEOWIATING DRESS.
19/19
Magikarp
{4}{u}
 
 C 
Creature – Fish
Evolve, evolve, evolve, evolve, evolve, evolve, evolve
"...Karp?"
Illus. Ken Sugimori
0/1
Longing Memory
{u}{u}
 
 C 
Enchantment
{u}{u}: Counter target spell. Activate this ability only any time you could cast an interrupt. (You could cast interrupts between August 1993 and April 1999.)
Multiverse of Bums
{r}
 
 C 
World Sparked Enchantment
(Sparked is to planeswalker as tribal is to creature.)
Multiverse of Bums is every planeswalker type (at all times).
Pinocchioken
{g}{w}
 
 C 
Sorcery
Target token becomes a REAL CARD!
Just kidding. This card will now grow until it gets to be one of those 6x9 oversize cards.
Swamp
 
 B 
Basic Land – Swamp

Blazing Pact (rare)
Smallmox (uncommon)
Aether's Embrace (uncommon)
Ajani's Primate (uncommon)
Nesting Sliver (common)
One with Something (common)
Mirrodin's Coors (common)
Five-Dollar Wrench (common)
Energizer Bunny (common)
Tutu Cat (common)
Magikarp (common)
Longing Memory (common)
Multiverse of Bums (common)
Pinocchioken (common)
Swamp (basic)