[NONCANON] My Random Shit: Virtual Booster

Cut in Twain    R  Instant Target creature becomes a split card in addition to it's other frames until end of turn, then destroy it, create two tokens that are copies of it except they each have half the power and half the toughness, then wait eight to twelve years and destroy both, create a token that is a copy of the original card except is a Skeleton in addition to it's other types, loses all abilities and cannot attack or block, then rip that card into two pieces	Impacting Meteor    U  Land When Impacting Meteor enters the battlefield, it deals 2 damage to target creature : Add	Platinum Armor    U  Artifact – Equipment Equip Warrior Equipped Warrior has +0/+30 and gains Indestructible	Meleeism    U  Enchantment When Meleeism enters the battlefield all creatures lose Flying, Reach, Swimming, Fishing, and Spaceflight Creatures cannot gain Flying, Reach, Swimming, Fishing, and Spaceflight All creatures have +1/+0
Dopple Ganger    C  Creature – Clone Warrior You may have up to six cards in your deck named Dopple Ganger : Search your library for another card named Dopple Ganger, Dopple Ganger becomes another target creature of your choice until end of turn 2/1	Snake-Eye Die    C  Artifact – Block Whenever a spell or ability would cause you to roll a die, you may tap this Block instead. If you do, you gain 1 life.	Get Rekt    C  Instant As Get Rekt is cast, any player may pay to counter it Target player gets Rekt	Long Legs    C  Creature – Spider Reach 1/3
Rabid Rabbit    C  Creature – Rabbit Zombie Infect, Jump Boost 2 (: Move Rabid Rabbit up to two inches.) 2/1	Pingstorm    C  Instant Ping any target Storm	Black Widow    C  Creature – Spider Deathtouch, Infect : Black Widow breeds with another creature, Black Widow destroy's that creature at the end of the turn, then create a PoisonVial token 2/1	NeverWet    C  Artifact : Target thing becomes Hydrophobic until end of turn At the beginning of your upkeep, gain $2500.00 for each YouTuber you control
Polar Bear    C  Creature – Polarbear 2/2	Alphabet Soup    C  Artifact – Food : Add or and gain 2 life Whenever Alphabet Soup becomes tapped, choose a letter At the end of each turn, if you control a permanent with all the chosen letters in it's name, draw seven cards and gain 7 life. If not, sacrifice Alphabet Soup, discard seven cards and lose 7 life	Ten Year Old Funnyboi    B  Basic Creature – Human Idiot Child : Target creature becomes another random creature until end of turn "RANDOM = FUNNY" says He 0/1	Kangaroo  T  Creature – Kangaroo Jump Boost 5, Storage 2 4/2

Cut in Twain (rare)
Impacting Meteor (uncommon)
Platinum Armor (uncommon)
Meleeism (uncommon)
Dopple Ganger (common)
Snake-Eye Die (common)
Get Rekt (common)
Long Legs (common)
Rabid Rabbit (common)
Pingstorm (common)
Black Widow (common)
NeverWet (common)
Polar Bear (common)
Alphabet Soup (common)
Ten Year Old Funnyboi (basic)
Kangaroo (token)