[NONCANON] My Random Shit: Virtual Booster

Antilandwalk    R  Enchantment Lands you control are artifacts instead. They still have all mana abilities and follow other land rules (but cannot be targeted)	Paranoia    U  Enchantment – Aura Enchant creature Enchanted creature gains "Every 5 seconds, tap then untap this creature, put a Paranoia counter on it" and "Whenever this creature has 500 or more Paranoia counters on it, sacrifice it and destroy all other creatures"	Whispers of Unintelligible Expenses    U  Instant Until end of turn, spells cost more to cast, and whenever a player casts a spell they lose that much life. As Davriel wandered through the ruins of an ancient hellish world, he saw the chattering head of a mad god spouting out a foretelling of upcoming anguish.	Absorption Sponge    U  Creature – Plant Whenever you would be dealt damage, redirect that damage to Absorption Sponge. : You gain 1 life. Active this ability only if you control another white or green creature. 0/2
Meta    C  Instant Say something meta or break character, if you do, draw a card	Quill    C  Artifact Quill is White When Quill enters the battlefield, you may have it deal 1 damage to a Bird you control, if you don't, exile it , Tap an untapped blue Human you control with converted mana cost 6 or greater: Create one two-hundredth of a Book token	Louse    C  Creature – Insect , Sacrifice Louse: Draw a card 1/1	Junkrat    C  Creature – Rat You may pay an additional when you cast this spell, if you do, it gains Deathtouch. When Junkrat enters the battlefield, it deals 1 damage to target creature. If that creature dies this way, search your library for a Junk and put it on top of your library. 2/1
Feed    C  Instant Target creature loses Hungry	Life Up!    C  Instant Life Up!'s mana cost may be payed only with W, R or G Gain 8 life If you control a Internetian, gain 12 life instead	Rektfeaster    C  Creature – Horror Whenever something get's Rekt, choose one: -You gain 2 life -Rektfeaster drains 1 to any target	Kickboxer    C  Creature – Human Fighter Kicker When Kickboxer enters the battlefield, if it was kicked, it gets +1/+1 and gains Haste until end of turn 1/1
Cheesecake    C  Artifact – Food : Sacrifice Cheesecake, gain 1 life, activate this ability only if you have spent more than $49.99 CAD in the last fifteen seconds	Silk Dress    C  Artifact – Equipment Equip Human Female Equipped Human Female has Hexproof	Ten Year Old Funnyboi    B  Basic Creature – Human Idiot Child : Target creature becomes another random creature until end of turn "RANDOM = FUNNY" says He 0/1	Cookie  T  Artifact – Food : Sacrifice Cookie, gain 1 life, gain 5 life instead if you ate a cookie less than three minutes before activating this ability

Antilandwalk (rare)
Paranoia (uncommon)
Whispers of Unintelligible Expenses (uncommon)
Absorption Sponge (uncommon)
Meta (common)
Quill (common)
Louse (common)
Junkrat (common)
Feed (common)
Life Up! (common)
Rektfeaster (common)
Kickboxer (common)
Cheesecake (common)
Silk Dress (common)
Ten Year Old Funnyboi (basic)
Cookie (token)