[NONCANON] My Random Shit: Virtual Booster

Noah, the Arkmage    R  Legendary Creature – Biblefolk Hexproof, Islandwalk, Swimming, Fishing. , Tap an untapped Island you control: Create a Battleship token. : Freeze target Island permanently and irrevocably (it does not and cannot be untapped) At the beginning of your end step, if you control ten or more tapped Islands, you win the game. At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control three or more tapped Islands, you win the game. At the end of the Biblical Age, Noah was the last believer of RNGesus as a messiah, rather than a bro 2/2	Wet Willie    U  Instant – Urge Target opponent gets a wet willie, if they cry, they have to give you $5.00 CAD, or concede the game	Basic Jedi    U  Creature – Jedi Protection from Sith : Target creature cannot attack or block until end of turn 1/2 Basic Sith    U  Creature – Sith Protection from Jedi : Target creature must attack this turn, it gains +1/+1 until end of turn 2/1	Squirrel Girl    U  Legendary Creature – Superhuman Hero Squirrel Child Squirrellink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to make those many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens) 1/2
Spawnkill    C  Enchantment Whenever a creature enters the battlefield target creature Spawnkill's controller controls destroys it, then Spawnkill's controller sacrifices Spawnkill	4K doesnt make a bad thing good    C    Accept that graphics aren't the only factor to whether something is quality	Glue    C  Artifact : Combine two Artifacts , Sacrifice Glue: Target creature gets +2/+0 until end of turn and becomes a Druggy in addition to it's other types until end of the game	Szechuan Sauce    C  Artifact – Food When Szechuan Sauce enters the battlefield, watch an episode of Rick and Morty, if you understand it, make a reddit post about it : Sacrifice Szechuan Sauce, choose one: -Gain 2 life -Target opponent gives you $2.00 CAD
Sand Block    C  Artifact – Block (Sand Block can be Smelted) , : Drop Sand Block from a height of at least one foot. Then, attach it to all creatures it touches. Every 0.5 seconds, this Block deals 0.5 damage to all creatures it is attached to. Glass Block    C  Artifact – Block , Sacrifice Glass Block: It deals 6 damage to target player, and they get a Poison counter	Backpack    C  Artifact – Equipment Equip Equipped creature gains Storage 2	Purify Soul    C  Enchantment – Aura Enchant creature Enchanted creature has base power and toughness 1/1 and gains Shroud. When Purify Soul leaves the battlefield, create enchanted creature's Soulform (To create a creature's Soulform, create a token that is a copy of that creature except it's a white Spirit in addition to it's other colors and types.).	Troll Hole    C  Instant Destroy target land, if you do, you create a 2/2 black Troll with ": Regenerate this creature"
Good Read (RTFC)    C  Instant Target player reads a card to all other player's simultaneously, then draws a card	Bull's Feces    C  Artifact Sacrifice Bull's Feces: Target player loses 2 life, activate this ability only if the targeted player told a lie	Grainforest    B  Basic Land : Add and you gain 9 life. Activate this ability only if you control six or more green creatures.	Jellyfish Jam  T  Token Artifact – Food Sacrifice Jellyfish Jam: Heal target creature. If a Plant creature is healed this way, you gain 3 life.

Noah, the Arkmage (rare)
Wet Willie (uncommon)
Basic Jedi // Basic Sith (uncommon)
Squirrel Girl (uncommon)
Spawnkill (common)
4K doesnt make a bad thing good (common)
Glue (common)
Szechuan Sauce (common)
Sand Block (common)
Backpack (common)
Purify Soul (common)
Troll Hole (common)
Good Read (RTFC) (common)
Bull's Feces (common)
Grainforest (basic)
Jellyfish Jam (token)