[NONCANON] My Random Shit: Virtual Booster

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Mechanics | Shiftrrs | Mechanics 2.0 | Set symbol | Grey Mana | Yellow Cards in this Set | Sins & Virtues | Basic Animal Groups | junk | verbosity gone wrong | Finishing Move Series | my shitpost | high quality shitpost 2
Printable
This booster was generated with modern collation since the cardset contains mythics: 1 rare / mythic, 3 uncommons, 10 commons, 1 basic land, 1 token.
You could alternatively have 15 random cards regardless of rarity.
 U 
Creature
Spells you cast have Buyback {2}
2/3
 
 M 
Creature – Plant Knight
Defender, Indestructible, Hexproof
When Spongebodyguard enters the battlefield all creatures you control gain Bestow {0} and are Bestowed onto Spongebodyguard, all noncreature spells in your graveyard gain Splice onto Creature {0} and are splices onto Spongebodyguard, all Lands you control become Artifact Equipments with "Equip {0}" that become equipped to Spongebodyguard, they are still lands
Spongebodyguard's toughness is equal to triple your life total
Whenever you would be dealt damage, redirect that damage to Spongebodyguard
{3}{w}{w}: Gain 1 life
0/*
 U 
Sorcery
Trade Slave (You and target opponent each put a Slave card from your hands into the other player's hand.).
You lose 2 life.
 U 
Legendary Creature – Superhuman Hero Squirrel Child
Squirrellink (Damage dealt by this creature also causes you to make those many 1/1 green Squirrel creature tokens)
1/2
 U 
Sorcery
Target player reveals their hand to each player. Until end of turn, all those cards and their text references become white and {w} instead, respectively.
Etch {3}{w}{w} (When this spell resolves, you may pay {3}{w}{w}. If you do it's effects are permanent.)
 C 
Artifact
{t}: Spin Fidget Spinner, if it spins more than 720 degrees and doesn't fall or touch any other cards, add two mana of any two colors
 C 
Artifact Creature – Food Horror Construct
You may have any number of cards named Creepy Pasta in your deck
Creepy Pasta has +1/+1 for each black Food, Horror, or Construct you control
{b}{t}: Discard two cards, activate this ability once every turn or sacrifice all cards named Creepy Pasta from libraries, graveyards, and the battlefield
1/1
 C 
Sorcery
If you start with Boon of the Clerical in your opening hand, you may exile it. Your starting life total becomes equal to your starting life total plus 10.
You gain 5 life.
 C 
Artifact – Equipment
Equip {0}
Equipped creature is Blue in addition to it's other colors, has Protection from blue, and gets +0/+1 for each blue creature in play

Blue creatures have protection from the equipped creature
 C 
Artifact – Food
Sacrifice Watermelon: Add X mana of any combination of blue or green mana, where X is four minus the number of halfseconds it took you to activate this ability
{g/b}
 
 C 
Instant
Put an Infect counter on target player
Eep
{r}
 
 C 
Instant
Cast Eep only when a creature you control takes damage.
Defecate 3 (Exile three cards from the top of your library. Put each card with a lower CMC exiled this way into your hand. If you can't, discard a card.)
{1}{r}
 
 C 
Instant
Target creature becomes Silly until end of turn (Silly creatures cannot attack, block, have their abilities activated, be the target of spells or abilities, or be in combat)
{g}{g}
 
 C 
Creature – Rat Boar
{t}: Sacrifice Hamster, create one Beef Jerky token, then draw a card
1/1
 B 
Basic Creature – Human Idiot Child
{t}: Target creature becomes another random creature until end of turn
"RANDOM = FUNNY" says He
0/1
 T 
Token Artifact – Food
Sacrifice Bacon: Gain 100 Life

Indian Giver (uncommon, foil)
Spongebodyguard (mythic)
Slave Trade (uncommon)
Squirrel Girl (uncommon)
Spotlight (uncommon)
Fidget Spinner (common)
Creepy Pasta (common)
Boon of the Clerical (common)
Blue Bandana (common)
Watermelon (common)
Bumfart (common)
Eep (common)
Sillyfy (common)
Hamster (common)
Ten Year Old Funnyboi (basic)
Bacon (token)