[NONCANON] My Random Shit: Virtual Booster

Cupid, Faerie Matchmaker    R  Legendary Creature – Faerie Flying, Hexproof : Tap two Humans you control, gain life equal to their CMCs, then create a Baby token Blessed by the Queen of Hearts in the year -69 BC 2/2	Springfield Downs    U  Artifact – Structure Hound Habitat Creatures inhabiting this structure get +2/+1. At the end of each of your turns, sacrifice all creatures inhabiting this structure that did not attack this turn.	Noogie    U  Instant – Urge Target opponent gets a noogie, if they cry, they have to give you $5.00 CAD or concede the game	Jinjurrbred Haus    U  Artifact – Food Structure Child and Wizard Habitat , eat a pound of candy: You gain 3 life. If you ate gingerbread this way, you gain 6 life instead. Children inhabiting this structure get -1/-1 for each Wizard inhabiting it. Wizards inhabiting this structure get +1/+1 for each Child inhabiting it.
Ingrown Toenail    C  Artifact – Delectable Equipment Equip Equipped creature gains Lockpick (, : Tap target artifact. Then, you gain control of it UEOT.)	Keg    C  Artifact : Create a Beer token Whenever a Drunk enters the battlefield, sacrifice Keg	Joyous Pun    C  Instant Laugh 2 (To Laugh, laugh for at least two seconds. If you do, you gain 2 life.)	Smurf    C  Creature – Smurf When Smurf enters the battlefield, you may return target creature to it's owners hand 1/1
Impatience    C  Instant Target red or black creature card in your hand gains Super haste	NeverWet    C  Artifact : Target thing becomes Hydrophobic until end of turn At the beginning of your upkeep, gain $2500.00 for each YouTuber you control	Bakery    C  Artifact – Structure Chef Habitat Cook Bread – (: Create a Bread token) Tap an untapped Chef you control: You gain 2 life.	Assnaut    C  Creature – Donkey Astronaut Assnaut cannot attack if defending player controls Lands 1/1
Rektum    C  Artifact : Lose 2 life, target nonblack creature get's Rekt, as long as it has nudity in it's art	On A Stick    C  Suffix Suffixed permanent is a food equipment in addition to it's other types and gains Equip Fatso Sacrifice Suffixed permanent: put two +0/+1 counters on Equipped Fatso, activate this ability only if Suffixed permanent is equipped to a Fatso	Grainforest    B  Basic Land : Add and you gain 9 life. Activate this ability only if you control six or more green creatures.	Copy Pasta  T  Artifact – Food : Make a copy of Copy Pasta : Sacrifice Copy Pasta, gain 1 life replicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicatereplicate

Cupid, Faerie Matchmaker (rare)
Springfield Downs (uncommon)
Noogie (uncommon)
Jinjurrbred Haus (uncommon)
Ingrown Toenail (common)
Keg (common)
Joyous Pun (common)
Smurf (common)
Impatience (common)
NeverWet (common)
Bakery (common)
Assnaut (common)
Rektum (common)
On A Stick (common)
Grainforest (basic)
Copy Pasta (token)