[WORDS] BoneAppleTea

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 M 
Legendary Creature – Eldrazi Elk
Trample, Hexproof
{t}: Remove all green mana from your mana pool. For each mana removed this way create a 1/1 Eldrazi creature token with Haste
Olive, the Other Reindeer
4/5
 R 
Enchantment
Pledge of Allegiance is the Bane of blue Elves and blue Elephants
White creatures you control get +2/+1 and gain Vigilance
Any number of Black creatures you control may tap themselves.
 C 
Enchantment
Telephone Game!!! is the Bane of blue Elves and blue Elephants
 C 
Creature – Insect Giant
(there's nothing here! Did you RTFC??? I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS OR TAKE IT!!! UUNNAACCEEPPTTAABBLLEE!!!!!! D:<)
0/0
 U 
Legendary Snow Artifact – Equipment
Equip Fatso holiday promo {0}
Equipped Fatso holiday promo gains Flying and {t}: Add {r}{g}
{3}{u}, Sacrifice A Nuance Meant: Untap all creatures within a foot of this card
the nuance is he needs his beard to be complete. This was an announcement
 U 
Basic Enchantment Artifact Creature – Child Workers
When Kids In-Sync (Kitchen Sink) enters the battlefield create five tokens that are copies of it.
{t}: Do something. If an opponent likes it, you may draw a card. Otherwise lose the game
1/1
 C 
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature is a Flatfootlander as it's only subtype. It has "{e}{e}{e}{e}{e}{t}: Add {w}{w}{u}"
Toes just isn't our way here in Flatfootland
 M 
Legendary Artifact – Delectable
Sacrifice Legend Dairy: Gain 10 life
 U 
Instant
Except a Bowl this spell cannot be countered
Each player chooses up to one artifact with Storage 1 with a blue permanent stored on it. Then, those players tap all untapped artifacts they control.
'This is acceptable'
– Maro
 R 
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant thing
Enchanted thing is blue and cannot have it's colors changed. It gains "{t}: Draw five cards"
 U 
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant creature {w} or {b}
Enchanted is one of the following:
-If you payed the former attach cost: A creature with Flying, move it vertically one hundred meters
-If you payed the latter attach cost: a copy of another target creature with lower converted mana cost
 R 
Enchantment Artifact
{t}: Attach target red and white land to Mine-Bottling Fact, nobody can use it. Mine-Bottling Fact loses all colors until end of turn and becomes transparent. It has Storage 1
 U 
Tribal Sorcery – Artificer Worker Evil
You control target thing you don't control. It's owner creates a red Granite artifact Block token with no abilities
 U 
Legendary Sorcery
Create a creature token that is a copy of you. Suspend it for half of a turn.
Shun target Legendary creature with the first initial K.
Come You Nigh: Kay Shuns
 R 
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant creature
Whenever enchanted creature's controller casts a spell from BoneAppleTea, put a -1/-1 counter on enchanted creature
 U 
Sorcery
Create a Structure token with Black creature habitat. It has "Tap an untapped inhabitant, Defecate 1". Move this structure to the right.
Bad Moon Rising
 U 
Instant
When Bone Smack Teeth enters the battlefield, untap all Idiots and Foods you control, then tap all Frogs you don't control.
Target White Artifact destroys up to two-hundred-fifty-two white artifacts with lower CMCs
 C 
Enchantment Artifact – Aura Food
Enchant creature you control
At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose, Epileptic Caesar deals 6 damage to enchanted creature.
{t}, Sacrifice Epileptic Caesar: You gain 10 life
 R 
Legendary Sorcery
Feel It Naughty Dog deals 4 damage to any target. If that target is a Dog Evil that attacked this turn, deal 8 damage to it's controller
 C 
Artifact – Food
Sacrifice Lie Berry: Gain 0 life. It was a lie. Transform Lie Berry
Arch Eyes
 
 C 
Artifact – Equipment
Equip Genius Wizard {0}
Equipped Genius Wizard is a Titan in addition to it's other types and gains "Pay any quantity and quality of mana: Do something"
 U 
Instant
Flip three coins. If all three land on heads, add {r}{r}{r}
 C 
Creature – Wizard Nomad
As long as you control a Desert, Sand Witches has Haste
3/2
 C 
Instant
As an additional cost to cast Stow Ree!, do your best Neckbeard impression.
Destroy target thing with Storage
 U 
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast Tool Edge It To Quit, move three Equipments

You quit the game.
 C 
Creature – Bird
Flying
{t}: Untap another target Bird
Twelve Days of Christmas
0/1
 C 
Creature – Bird
Flying
When Canary Bird (Colly Bird) enters the battlefield, pick up to three colors.
{t}: Add one mana of any of the three colors you chose
0/0.5
 C 
Creature – Bird
Flying
{t}: Add one mana of any color
Twelve Days of Christmas
0/1
 C 
Creature – Bird
Flying
{1}{t}: Tap or untap target Land
Twelve Days of Christmas
0/1
 U 
Sorcery
Destroy target enchantment. Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature for each word in the name of the destroyed enchantment
 R 
Legendary Land Creature – Eldrazi
When The Oregon Null enters the battlefield exile everything that wasn't cast by Oregon.
9/9
 U 
Sorcery
Create a 2/2 white Monk creature token with Prowess and Swimming
A Monk Swimming
 R 
Legendary Structure Creature – Human Advisor
Defender, Hexproof
When Noah Fence enters the battlefield, destroy all Evils
Creatures cannot move if they would cross Noah Fence
0/100
 C 
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature can only be affected or affect white Artifacts that have had tokens created of them or are tokens created of something.
 U 
Instant
Destroy target creature. Target player mills three cards.
ironically enough, this is kind of what migraine feel like: being grinded into a thin grain
 M 
Legendary Creature – Evil God
HE IS EDGY SO HE WINS
infinity/infinity
 U 
Artifact
Sacrifice the bottom tenth of Missile Toe and then the rest: Deal 4 damage to any target, if that creature has flying, deal 6 damage instead. You may destroy all lands within 3 cm of that creature
{w}{g}
 
 C 
Tribal Sorcery – Egg Food
Create a copy of target enchantment you control, except it's a token in addition to it's other types and it's name is "Sire of Eggcorn"
 C 
Artifact – Equipment Food
Equip Wall {e}{e}
Equipped Wall has protection from Blue and Red
Destroy equippee and Wallfulls: You gain 12 life.
There is an abundant source of nutrience hidden right behind your walls! Just dig into the stuff labelled "Harmful Absestos" and your taste buds will delight! tRy It!1!1!11!
 C 
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature is blue and red
 C 
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature is an Evil Knight. Round it's toughness up
{b}{g}
 
 C 
Creature – Germ
Whenever a blue thing is cast, it exiles Eco Lie
When Eco Lie enters the battlefield destroy a Land or Human
9/9
 U 
Creature – Elf
Fear
{t}: add {b} or {g}
Ferret's Elf cannot attack or block Ferrets
2/2
 C 
Artifact Creature – Hippo Construct
When Hippo Crates enters the battlefield make five tokens that are copies of it
Storage 1
1/1
 C 
Basic Artifact Creature – Food Human
A Pita Me's power and toughness is equal to your height and weight in feet, rounded down respectively
A Pita Me has all evergreen abilities and subtypes you could reasonably have.
*/*
 C 
Creature – Plant Human
When Dew-Dilly Gents enters the battlefield create two tokens that are copies of it
{w}{t}, Sacrifice Dew-Dilly Gents: Prevent all damage that would be dealt to target female this turn
{e}{b} Sacrifice Dew-Dilly Gents: Gain 2 life then add {u} or {g}
1/1
 U 
Artifact
When Hands and a Teaser enters the battlefield ask a trivial question in less than five words. For each player who loses, untap a Worker you control
 R 
Creature – Elemental Warriors
Whenever Doodle Agents (Due Diligence) attacks create a Doodle token
6/4
 C 
Instant
Deal 2 damage to target Fish. Flip a coin. If you win, deal 4 damage instead. If you lose, sacrifice an Island
 C 
Artifact Creature – Human Construct
Whenever Nickle Teen blocks a creature that doesn't have a -1/-1 counter on it, put one on that creature.
3/4
 U 
Legendary Artifact – Delectable
When Bone Apple Tea enters the battlefield, untap all Idiots and Foods you control, then tap all Frogs you don't control.
{w}{t}, Sacrifice Bone Apple Tea: Target creature or artifact gains Indestructible until end of turn
{r/g}{r/g}{t}, Sacrifice Bone Apple Tea: Gain 7 life
Pay {b}{b}{b}, {u}{u}{u} or {g}{g}{g}, {t}, Sacrifice Bone Apple Tea: Heal all things, no damage can be dealt or taken until end of turn
 C 
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant creature
Enchanted creature is a brown Food Pirate with Storage 2
 R 
Sorcery
Create a 0/4 Dock land creature token. Then, untap all your swimming Birds without flying. They gain Dockhome and are Portugese in addition to their other race types until end of turn.
 M 
Legendary Artifact – Delectable
When Super Salad enters the battlefield, choose one:
-Create a Soup token
-Create a Salad Token
Pay $199.00 CAD, Sacrifice Super Salad: Gain 100 life
 R 
Running Gag Enchantment Creature – Atog
Trample, Haste, Vigilance, Double Strike, Flying, Hexproof, Indestructible
{1}{b}{b}{t}: Destroy target Female creature from Standard or Legacy
{1}{w}{w}{t}: Exile target creature that attacked this turn
15/15
 C 
Instant
Untap target artifact creature Equipment Human. It destroys Cow in the graveyard and is healed.
 U 
Sorcery
Target creature gets +2/+1 until end of turn. Add {y}{y}
Mustard Up Courage
{1}{w/r}{y}
 
 U 
Sorcery
Untap target creature. It gains Haste until end of turn. Add {y}{y}
 C 
Creature – Bear
Whenever Cross-Eyed Bear (Cross I'd Bear) attacks, flip a coin. If it lands on hands, Cross-Eyed Bear (Cross I'd Bear) deals 2 damage to you
Keep Thou my Way
3/3
 M 
Sorcery
Choose one:
-Untap target Legendary Cleric with Cook then tap it to untap a food
-Untap two or more target Donkeys, then cut target Mystic into X pieces over the course of X turns. Destroy that creature and add {b}{r}{r}
 C 
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant Artifact
All money affecting or affected by enchanted Artifact is divided by it's the number of cards in it's controllers hand
{u}{w/r}
 
 C 
Artifact Equipment – Food
Equip Human {7 billion years of cosmic progress}
Equipped Human gains "{t}: Scry 1"
Bronze
{2}
 
 C 
Artifact
{e}, Sacrifice Bronze: Add {r}{g}
 R 
Legendary Creature – Jackal
Instant and sorcery spells you control are Tribal Jackals in addition to their other types and subtypes.
1/1
Mister Hide
{1}
 
 R 
Legendary Artifact Creature – Equipment
Equip {1}
Equip Scout {0}
Equipped creature has Shroud
 U 
Sorcery
Target piece of a Structure card with toughness is healed
All Afraid Hoe
{1}{b}{b}
 
 U 
Artifact
All things have Fear.
{e}{t}: Add {g}{g}
 C 
Enchantment – Aura
Enchant creature with money on it
The money on enchanted creature cannot be moved. The creature gains Flying and Shroud (except for this aura)
Youth in Asia
{y}{g/r}
 
 C 
Creature – Human Child
{t}: Do something a stereotypical 17 year old Asian would do
1/1
 C 
Artifact – Equipment
Equip creature {s}
Equipped creature is a Worker in addition to it's other types.
 M 
Legendary Tribal Artifact – Lord
Master Peace has the Kaladesh Masterpiece frame
Creatures cannot attack or block and get +1/+1.
{t}, Sacrifice Master Peace: You get three currency of any type (ex. hundred dollar-bills, dogecoin, offbrand monopoly products)
 M 
Legendary Artifact Creature – YouTuber Human Construct Gamer
Play a subgame of Magic, if you win, choose one:
-Destroy target artifact with converted mana cost 4 or less
-Return target artifact from your graveyard to your hand
1/1
 C 
Artifact
You may place up to one Artifact on top of Petal Stool. When you do you get an emblem with "At the beginning of your upkeep gain 1 life and add {w}"
If the artifact is also a Plant, you gain 2 life instead and add {w}{g} instead too
 C 
Artifact
{t}: Add {u}
Whenever Sad Tyre is tapped to Crew a Vehicle, ignore the other costs.
 C 
Artifact
When Vowel of Science enters the battlefield your opponents cannot cast spells this turn
{u}: Scry 1
 U 
Basic Land
Hole: Hard, Deadly is the bane of all other Lands within 2.5 cm
Indestructible
{1}{t}: Add {c} or {b} then ping any target
 T 
Token Artifact – Food
Sacrifice Salad: Add {g}
 T 
Token Artifact – Food
Sacrifice Soup: Add {u}
 T 
Token Artifact
Flip a coin, sacrifice Doodle: If heads, draw a card, if tails, gain 3 life

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Show rarities: C U R M T

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