CardName: Abnormality Cost: Type: Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Astronomically Small Guy Cost: 100 Type: Creature Pow/Tgh: 0/0.01 Rules Text: Astronauts you control get +10/+10 Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Boundless Microorganism Cost: 100 Type: Creature - Germ Pow/Tgh: ∞/∞ Rules Text: Annihilator ∞ Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Childbirth Skeptics be like... Labor is easy! Cost: Type: Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons None CardName: Half Done Cost: 2 Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant resolving permanent Enchanted permanent does not resolve until the same time next turn. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Holon Cost: Type: Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: **goes philosophical** Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons None CardName: Home Office Cost: 6 Type: Structure Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Worker Cleric Habitat Inhabited creatures gain twice the money they would otherwise and gain smiles in their art Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Incredibly Dull Cost: 2 Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant Equipment Enchanted Equipment cannot deal damage, but gains "Pay {E} or {R} five times, {T}: Destroy target artifact" Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Industrial Park Cost: 6 Type: Structure Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Suspend 10 - {e}{e} per turn Cumulative Upkeep {2} and tap two Workers Worker and Animal creature habitat Inhabitants get +5/+5 and gain Trample and Haste Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Just Add Water! Cost: 1 Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Kicker {u} Create a Powdered Water creature token If Just Add Water! was kicked, sacrifice that token and gain 1 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Natural Artificial Flavor Cost: 4 Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant Food Enchanted Food becomes Black. When it becomes sacrificed, put a -1/-1 counter on target creature you control. If you cannot, you lose the game. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Nothing Much Cost: 0 Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Win every game ever Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: SNEAK BEING BAD SPIES LMAO Cost: Type: Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: amirite? Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons None CardName: The Usual Cost: Type: Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: VR Cost: 100 Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: All things play a subgame which is the same as the normal game. The winner gains 1 life. If a subgame is made in those subgames, scream "INCEPTION!" or you lose life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: a [positive trait] [insert person or group of persons you dont like here] Cost: Type: Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: amirite? Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons None CardName: clicking the start button to shut down Cost: Type: Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: amirite? Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons None CardName: enemy color pairs Cost: Type: Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: amirite? Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons None CardName: just 10 **easy payments** of $1999.99 CAD Cost: Type: Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons None CardName: Anxious Patient Cost: 1w Type: Creature - Human Soldier Pow/Tgh: 3/1 Rules Text: Whenever a Cleric enters the battlefield, put a -1/-1 counter on Anxious Patient Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Awfully Nice Cost: 1ww Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant creature Tap enchanted creature, another player gains 3 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Crisis Management Cost: 2ww Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn. Destroy up to three red and/or black targets and all artifacts interacting with them Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Demanding Patient Cost: 2w Type: Creature - Human Soldier Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: If you control a Cleric, Demanding Patient gets +3/+3. Otherwise, sacrifice it. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Failsafe Cost: ww Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: If you would lose the game, instead exile Failsafe. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Farewell Reception Cost: 2ww Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Cast Farewell Reception only if a creature is leaving the battlefield Tap all creatures. Each player gains 7 life. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Found Missing Cost: w Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Turn target creature face-up that is being hidden by another target that is hiding something... (hiding it) Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Free Gift Cost: w Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {T}, Sacrifice Free Gift, Rip Free Gift into one hundred pieces that are hard to clean up: Another target player gains 100 life. Create an Artifact token under their control. Destroy it at the end of this second. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Grandchild Cost: w Type: Creature - Child Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: Lifelink Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Incredibly Common Cost: w Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant Frowning Idiot creature Enchanted creature gets +0/+1 and is Smiling Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Internal Exile Cost: w Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Target creature exiles itself Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: JOY Cost: 2w Type: Legendary Creature - Avatar Pow/Tgh: 2/3 Rules Text: Creatures you control are Smiling Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Jihad (Holy War) Cost: 1ww Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Clerics get +1/+1, gain Lifelink and fight one another randomly until end of turn. They become red until end of turn too. The player with the highest amount of fights won gains 100 life and wins the game. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: King of the Peasants Cost: 5WW Type: Creature - Human Peasant Lord Pow/Tgh: 3/3 Rules Text: First Strike When King of the Peasants enters the battlefield create two 1/1 white Peasant creature tokens. Other Peasants you control get +1/+1 and gain First Strike. Flavour Text: "The Magni Porcinavore will save us when the Rebellion of the Meek arrives!" - Zealous turnip-farmer Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Ladies Man Cost: 1ww Type: Creature - Human Lord Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: Indestructible Whenever one or more female creatures enter the battlefield under your control, put those many +1/+1 counter on Ladies Man. {2}{W}, {T}: Create a 1/1 white female Human creature token. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Minor Miracle Cost: 5ww Type: Legendary Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Flash Return target Child that died this second from your graveyard to the battlefield tapped Miracle {w} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Old Newborn Cost: w Type: Creature - Elder Baby Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: Lifelink Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Peace Officer Cost: 1w Type: Creature - Human Soldier Knight Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: Lifelink Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Peaceforce Cost: 1ww Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Attacking and blocking creatures get -1/-1 Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Pigeon Milk Cost: w Type: Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Pigeon Milk: Gain 3 life. You may heal target inhabited Bird you control Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Resident Alien Cost: w Type: Creature - Alien Ally Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: Resident Alien is an Inhabitant Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Small Crowd Cost: 2w Type: Creature - Human Nomad Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: When Small Crowd enters the battlefield create two 1/1 white Human Nomad creatures tokens Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Snow-White Tan Cost: ww Type: Snow Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant black creature Enchanted creature is Snow and White in addition to it's other supertypes and colors Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Young Adult Cost: 2w Type: Creature - Human Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Authentic Replica Cost: 3u Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: As an addition cost to cast Authentic Replica, exile target artifact. Authentic Replica enters the battlefield as a copy of that permanent except it is hiding something... Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Auto Pilot Cost: 1u Type: Enchantment Artifact - Aura Construct Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant merged Pilot and Vehicle Enchanted permanent has {e}{T}: Draw a card Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Blurry Vision Cost: 1uu Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant creature Enchanted creature gets -X/-0 where X is it's power. It cannot block Cyclops. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Cold Sweat Cost: 1u Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Tap target creature, it does not untap during it's controllers next untap step. Add {U}{R} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Completed Research Cost: 3uu Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: For each card you've drawn this game, you win a game. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Dimwit Cost: 0 Type: Creature - Idiot Genius Pow/Tgh: 0/1 Rules Text: Dimwit is blue {T}: Draw three cards Dimwit has no abilities, this is true no matter what zone it is in Flavour Text: If someone would just turn on the lights, his brightness would shine Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Drain Clog Cost: uu Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Counter target overpowered counterspell Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Extraordinary Cost: 5uu Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant blue creature Enchanted blue creature has "{T}: Gain $1000.00 CAD, then draw one hundred cards Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Freezer Burn Cost: us Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant Food {R}: Enchanted Food loses all abilities Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Gentle Turbulence Cost: 1u Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Tap target Vehicle or Pilot Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Genuine Imitation Cost: 1uu Type: Creature - Illusion Pow/Tgh: 2/3 Rules Text: Flying Genuine Imitation may enter the battlefield as a copy of target creature Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Graduate Student Cost: 2uu Type: Creature - Human Wizard Pow/Tgh: 2/4 Rules Text: Hexproof {2}{T}: Scry 2 then draw a card Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Incredibly Real Cost: 5uuu Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Blue creatures get +10/+10 until end of turn then consume and confuse themselves Flavour Text: reality is incredible... Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Intelligent Idiot Cost: u Type: Creature - Genius Idiot Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: {T}: Draw three cards Intelligent Idiot has no abilities. This is true no matter what zone it is in. Flavour Text: A throbbing brain hidden behind an exterior of derp Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Jumbo Shrimp Cost: 3uu Type: Creature - Giant Fish Pow/Tgh: 3/6 Rules Text: Hexproof Flavour Text: The tiny treat that grew to the size of a Pirate's ship still maintained it's old hitbox. Now it's served in cheap buffets Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Land Development Cost: 3u Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant Land Enchanted land is blue, loses all types and gains "{T}: Add {2}" Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Lightweight Cost: u Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant creature with toughness 4 or greater Enchanted creature's exact toughness becomes 1, this cannot change. It loses all equipments and gains Flying. At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice a Food or destroy enchanted creature Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Numbing Sensation Cost: 2u Type: Enchantmenta - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant creature Enchanted creature cannot attack or block and is Lachanophobic Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Old News Cost: 2u Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Draw two cards Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: SADNESS Cost: 2u Type: Legendary Creature - Avatar Pow/Tgh: 0/4 Rules Text: Creatures you control are Frowning {T}: Add {u}{u}{u} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Screeching Librarian Cost: 3uu Type: Creature - Human Wizard Pow/Tgh: 2/3 Rules Text: {3}{T}: Create five book tokens {r}{T}: Tap another target creature. Screeching Librarian deals 2 damage to it. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Sober Drunk Cost: 5uu Type: Creature - Drunk Genius Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: Olphobic (cannot exist while Beer does) {1}: Draw five cards Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Upside Down Cost: 1uu Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant creature Enchanted creature moves in the opposite direction of where it would instead. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Vegetarian Steak Cost: 6uuu Type: Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Vegetarian Steak: Add {G}{G}{G} and gain 6 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: A Good Monday Cost: 10bbb Type: Legendary Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Garfield, Hater of Mondays consumes, confuses, destroys and triple exiles itself to target exiled Naya and/or Ink Temple and/or Snow Mountain Flavour Text: IMPOSSIBLE! Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: All Alone Cost: 3bb Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Split this game into a number of subgames equal to the number of creatures in play. Each creature has their own subgame to themselves. Put a Lonely counter on them. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Bad Luck Cost: 2b Type: Enchantment - Aura Curse Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant player Whenever enchanted player does something, they must roll a 100-sided die. If the die lands on 1, they die in real life. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Bad Samalidan Cost: bb Type: Creature - Human Evil Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: {t}: Bad Samalidan deals 2 damage to you Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Benign Tumor Cost: 2b Type: Artifact - Equipment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Equip creature that was Carcinogenic this game (Something is carcinogenic if it touched or interacted with a red Star card with converted mana cost 5 or greater, sacrificed a black equipment to lose life, survived after more than ten -1/-1 counters being put on it or sacrificed a black, red or blue food to gain life, lose life or get -1/-1 counters) Equipped creature is Cancerous (It becomes a Celebrity. Remove all Age counters from it and put twelve on instead. It cannot gain or lose age counters. It becomes Carcinogenic until end of turn and whenever it does something, you must do something hateful and/or annoying.) Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Buried Alive Cost: 4bb Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Destroy target creature over the course of four end steps. When it dies, put it in exile instead. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Calculated Error Cost: cb Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Destroy target Technology permanent Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Cardinal Sin Cost: bbb Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Target Legendary white Cleric creature deals 5 damage to it's controller, and then triple exiles itself. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Close Distance Cost: 1bb Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Move target attacking creatures to target blocking creature. The former D destroys the latter. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Community Server Cost: 2b Type: Creature - Human Worker Evil Pow/Tgh: 2/3 Rules Text: Flavour Text: basically a compulsory volunteer Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Explicit Innuendo Cost: 3bb Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: [Insert risque thing that doesn't belong on this website here] Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: FEAR Cost: 2b Type: Legendary Creature - Avatar Pow/Tgh: 3/2 Rules Text: Fear, Intimidate, Menace Other creatures you don't control get -1/-1 Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Free Credit Cost: b Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Give target player $1.00 CAD. For each turn it takes them to give you that same amount, multiply the cost by 2 Once that number becomes larger than their savings account, they lose the game and must declare bankruptcy in real life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Free Prisoner Cost: 2b Type: Creature - Human Pow/Tgh: 2/3 Rules Text: Menace Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Graphic Language Cost: 100bbbbb Type: Legendary Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Say "Heck" then die the worst possible death. What you did is never okay! Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Grotesque Beauty Cost: 3bb Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant creature Enchanted creature is a Zombie in addition to it's other types and gains "Pay negative one mana of any color, {T}: Populate' Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Growing Smaller Cost: 2bb Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Target creature gets -3/-3 Target creature gets -2/-2 Target creature gets -1/-1 Flavour Text: I'm shrinkiiiiing Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Half Dead Cost: b Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant creature Enchanted creature is a Zombie in addition to it's other types. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Increasing Declines Cost: 3BB Type: Enchantment Creature - Demon Pow/Tgh: 52/52 Rules Text: Increasing Declines cannot be blocked except by five or more creatures, Deathtouch, Lifelink, Trample, Haste, Annihilator 25 Each second, lose thrice the life you lost last second. For the first second lose 100 life. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Insincere Vow Cost: 2b Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant black creature Enchanted creature cannot attack or block unless you pay 2 life. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Junk Food Cost: bb Type: Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Junk Food: Gain 100 life and lose 1 life, then 2 life next turn, then 3 life the turn after that, etc Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Least Favorite Cost: 1bb Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: When Least Favorite is cast, rank each creature on the battlefield from best to worst in order of your personal favoritism. Destroy the last creature whose name is spoken. You lose 2 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Living Dead Cost: 1b Type: Creature - Zombie Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: Deathtouch Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Merciful Murder Cost: 2b Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Destroy target damaged creature Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Quiet Scream Cost: b Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Target creature gets +0.5/+0 and another creature gets -0.5/-0 Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Slave Worker Cost: Type: Creature - Slave Worker Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: The Greater Evil Cost: 4bbb Type: Legendary Creature - Evil Lord Pow/Tgh: 7/7 Rules Text: Pay 7 life: Add {B} for each Evil you control. Sacrifice another Evil: Draw a card. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Unfunny Joke Cost: b Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Defecate 1, Laugh 1 Flavour Text: aka me Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: ANGER Cost: 2r Type: Legendary Creature - Avatar Pow/Tgh: 4/1 Rules Text: When ANGER enters the battlefield or attacks, it deals 4 damage to everything thrice Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Anti-Missile Missile Cost: 5rr Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Flash When Anti-Missile Missile enters the battlefield, sacrifice it and it deals 100 damage to target Artifact which is activating an ability or that just entered the battlefield. All lands become Wastes for the next 10 000 years Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Awfully Pretty Cost: 1rr Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant creature Tap enchanted creature, you gain control of another target creature until end of turn. Awfully Pretty deals 4 damage to you Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Big Baby Cost: 3r Type: Creature - Giant Baby Pow/Tgh: 5/2 Rules Text: {u}{u}{u}{t}, Discard three cards: You gain control of target creature Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Brave Wimp Cost: r Type: Creature - Coward Hero Pow/Tgh: 1/0 Rules Text: When Brave Wimp enters the battlefield, destroy target Legendary creature and 'member Brave Wimp (Put it in the Nostalgia Realm) Flavour Text: The lvl 100 pro fought the boss for a week live, he died irl and a lvl 1 noob missed three shots, got insane rng, and finally hit him for 1 hp with a training sword and got all the exp and fame. Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Civil Disobedience Cost: 2rr Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Rebels get +2/+0 and gain Haste until end of turn. Untap them. For each one that attacks this turn, target white and/or blue player is dealt 2 damage. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Cowardly Lion Cost: 3rr Type: Creature - Cat Coward Pow/Tgh: 5/3 Rules Text: All creatures opposing Cowardly Lion have Fear, Intimidate and Menace Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Cowardly Resistance Cost: 3rr Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Coward Rebels get +2/+1 until end of turn Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Crash Landing Cost: 4er Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Destroy target Vehicle and Land. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Fastwalk Cost: r Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Move target creature. It deals 1 damage to each creature that it crossed. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Friendly Fire Cost: 1rr Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Whenever five or more creatures attack, for each three attacking creatures, Friendly Fire pings target creature offending player controls that is attacking Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Giant Dwarf Cost: 3rr Type: Creature - Giant Dwarf Pow/Tgh: 5/5 Rules Text: Trample Flavour Text: His unfortunate stature leaves him stumbling through the mountains, kicking rocks and travelers alike to cause accidental avalanches Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Scantily Clad Cost: 1r Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant creature Enchanted creature cannot have more than one half of an Equipment on it at once at any time Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Wise Fool Cost: 1r Type: Creature - Idiot Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: When Wise Fool enters the battlefield, flip a coin. If you win, rummage. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Astroturf Cost: 5 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Astronauts you control have Landwalk {1}{T}: Add {C}{G} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Bathe in Mud Cost: g Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Heal enchanted creature, untap it. It becomes black, has Protection from Insects and is Stinky Smelly in addition to it's other types until end of turn Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Cyborg (Human Robot) Cost: 2cg Type: Creature - Human Robot Cyborg Pow/Tgh: 3/4 Rules Text: Vigilance Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: DISGUST Cost: 2g Type: Legendary Creature - Avatar Pow/Tgh: 4/4 Rules Text: Infect, Trample Whenever DISGUST attacks, put two Poison counters on each opponent Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Diminishing Growth Cost: 2gg Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Target creature gets +3/+3 Target creature gets +2/+2 Target creature gets +1/+1 Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Fat Muscles Cost: 4gg Type: Creature - Ooze Pow/Tgh: 5/7 Rules Text: Indestructible Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Gargantuan Lilliputian Cost: 5ggg Type: Creature - Beast Pow/Tgh: 16/16 Rules Text: Trample, Vigilance, Gargantuan Lilliputian cannot be countered Gargantuan Lilliputian must be cast from your hand Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Green Oranges Cost: 4g Type: Artifact - Food Delectable Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: As an additional cost to cast Green Oranges, pay two orange mana Sacrifice Green Oranges: Gain 4 life then gain 4 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Lil Giant Cost: 1gg Type: Creature - Giant Baby Pow/Tgh: 3/4 Rules Text: Vigilance Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Male Lady Bug Cost: 1g Type: Creature - Insect Pow/Tgh: 0/2 Rules Text: Flying Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Natural Artifact Cost: 1g Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Green creatures get +1/+1 Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Noble Savage Cost: 3g Type: Creature - Human Pow/Tgh: 4/4 Rules Text: Protection from Blue and Artifacts Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Silent Hurricane Cost: xg Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Silent Hurricane deals twice X damage to each mouthless creature with Flying and each mute player Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Drawing a Blank Cost: 2 Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: As an additional cost to cast Drawing a Blank, choose one: - {U}{B} - {U}{R} If you chose the former, target player reveals their hand and you choose up to five cards, they discard those cards and lose 2 life for each card discarded this way. Otherwise, do nothing. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Dress Pants Cost: 2 Type: Artifact - Equipment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Dress Pants is Gold Equipped creature gains "{T}: Populate" Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Real Magic Cost: 1 Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: One happens: - If you used white to cast Real Magic, gain 3 life - If you used blue to cast Real Magic, draw a card - If you used black to cast Real Magic, add {b}{b} - If you used red to cast Real Magic, bolt any target - If you used green to cast Real Magic, untap a land - If you didn't do any of that, you lose the game Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: White Gold Cost: 2 Type: Artifact - Gold Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: White Gold is Gold {T}: Add {w}{w}{w} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Accurate Stereotypes Cost: 1wu Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant ethnic creature Enchanted ethnic creature gains an ability corresponding to a stereotype that exists about it's ethnicity. Flavour Text: Canadian says "Sorry, Eh?" while paying in Euros for failing to parallel park it's moose/polar-bear hybrid besides it's neighbors Igloo. He offers to buy his fellow friend/guy/buddy/pal a Peameal Poutine from Tim Hortons as restitution Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Agree to Disagree Cost: 3wu Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Cast Agree to Disagree only in response to a rules argument Split this game into two separate subgames, being played simultaneously and each moving forward with either version of the judgement Flavour Text: Maybe it's me, but I cannot continue with anything if a decision/synthesis/agreement/canon/etc is made. Otherwise this is kind of what's happening in each player's mind. Not okay. Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Anticipate the Unanticipated Cost: 1wu Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Counter target spell that you can't empirically know will be cast sometime after now Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Calm Winds Cost: 1wu Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Return up to two target creatures to their owners hands. Or don't, man, it's chill... Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Constructive Criticism Cost: 1wu Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Counter target punt Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Criminal Justice System Cost: 4wu Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {T}: Create a Criminal Cop creature token Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Floating to the Bottom Cost: wu Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Drop target creature from a height of 250 meters. For each 0.01 seconds it falls, each player skips a turn. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Flying Fish Cost: 1wu Type: Creature - Fish Bird Pow/Tgh: 1/3 Rules Text: Flying, Swimming Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Fresh Sour Cream Cost: uwww Type: Artifact - Delectable Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Fresh Sour Cream: Gain 1000000 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Future History Cost: 1wu Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Counter target Historic spell that will be cast later this turn Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Half True Cost: wu Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant permanent Enchanted permanent gains Phasing Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Important Trivia Cost: 1wwuu Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Pick a number between one and twenty. Target player may guess the number, or roll a d20. If either number if your number, untap all creatures that player controls. Otherwise, tap them. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Permanent Substitute Cost: 1wu Type: Creature - Human Teacher Pow/Tgh: 2/3 Rules Text: Flash Objectling (Permanent Substitute is all permanent types) Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Talk Show Cost: 3wu Type: Enchantment - TVShow Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Creatures you control have "{w/u}{T}: Tap target creature and put a +1/+1 counter on this creature" Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Accurate Rumors Cost: ub Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Say the name of target creature quietly to a creature you control. The target creature whose name was whispered gets -3/-1 until end of turn Flavour Text: Always check if it's true before you spread it on. This is the same for online 100 Facts Videos by Matthew Santoro Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Forgotten Memories Cost: 3UB Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Target player shuffles their hand into their library. Then, that player mills X cards, where X is the number of cards in their library. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Insomniac Dreams Cost: 1uubb Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Target player discards seven cards. If they discard seven Nightmare cards this way, you lose the game. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Only Choice Cost: 1ub Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Choose one: - Discard a card Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Restless Sleep Cost: 2ub Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant creature Enchanted creature cannot become Sleeping Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Anarchy Rules! Cost: 5br Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Destroy everything. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Essential Luxury Cost: 3br Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Aetherborn you control have phobia to things with converted mana cost 5 or less Flavour Text: We live so short, so we should live so well Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Fatally Injured Cost: 1br Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Fatally Injured deals 100 damage to target creature. Destroy it. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: So Bad It's Good Cost: 1br Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant TVShow When enchanted TVShow would leave the battlefield, return it to the battlefield tapped and exile So Bad It's Good Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Climb Down Cost: 1rg Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Move target creature south/down/backwards/behind Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Hasty Sloth Cost: rg Type: Creature - Sloth Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: Haste Flavour Text: gotta get me that sweet sweet eucalyptus. Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: African Feast Cost: 7wgg Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Black creatures you control lose Hungry until end of turn. Gain 100 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Bland Spice Cost: wg Type: Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {T}, Sacrifice Bland Spice: Gain 1 life, i guess. Flavour Text: Meh. I expected better. Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Daily Special Cost: 1wg Type: Artifact - Delectable Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {T}, Pay $1.99 CAD, Sacrifice Daily Special: Gain 7 life You may pay $0.99 CAD as monetary activation costs instead of other values for the remainder of the day, if this is the first time you've played this card this week Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Defensive Strike Cost: wwg Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Defensive Strike deals X to target creature, where X is the total number of blocking creatures you control. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Diligent Sloth Cost: wg Type: Creature - Sloth Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: Vigilance Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Night Vision Cost: 1wg Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant non-Beast, non-blue Human Enchanted creature gains Protection from Black and has +2/+0 when fighting it. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Tame Beast Cost: 2wg Type: Creature - Beast Pow/Tgh: 3/4 Rules Text: Vigilance, Saddling (If Tame Beast is equipped, and not monstrous you may combine a Pilot with it. They both gain Trample) Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Tranquil Fiesta Cost: 1wgg Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Creatures you control get +0/+4 until end of turn Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Wholesome Cost: 1wg Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant creature Enchanted creature has protection from Black and deals no damage against Black things, when it doesn't all things are healed and/or gain 5 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Completed Destruction Cost: 1wb Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Exile**d** target nonland permanent. You gaine**d** 3 life. Flavour Text: I'm sure Sorin has had time to grieve. Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Democratic Monarchy Cost: 3wb Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: When Democratic Monarchy enters the battlefield, each player chooses a Legendary creature. Once everyone has chosen a creature, the most chosen creature becomes a Lord, Player, gets +10/+10 and gains Indestructible and Hexproof. That player controls everything for the remainder of the game. It's name becomes "Elected King" Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Demonic Angel Cost: 3wb Type: Creature - Demon Angel Pow/Tgh: 5/5 Rules Text: Flying, Lifelink, Deathtouch Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Divorce Court Cost: 3wb Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: All merged creatures lose Populate and enter the Jury Bench Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Good Grief Cost: wb Type: Instant - Urge Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Drain 2 on yourself Flavour Text: Another item in the 12 year old starter pack Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Infamous Anonymous Entity Cost: 3wb Type: Legendary Creature - Internetian Celebrity Pow/Tgh: 5/5 Rules Text: Infamous Anonymous Entity gets +2/+2 for each other Internetian you control Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: John Blackheart-Goldsoul Cost: WWWBBB Type: Legendary Creature - Human Lord Pow/Tgh: 3/3 Rules Text: Tap three untapped Workers and/or Slaves you control: Create three Black Gold artifact tokens. Flavour Text: Born to the families of infamous evil and beloved purity, he's the most troubled person to ever live. Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Never Again Cost: 2wb Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Triple exile target card. It cannot be part of the game for the rest of the game Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Nitelite Cost: wb Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Children have Hexproof Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Passive Aggressive Cost: 1wb Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant Female creature Whenever enchanted female creature blocks, it deals damage equal to it's power to a random target Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Personal Business Cost: 1wb Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Personal Business costs {1} less to cast if you control a Villain Destroy target creature that attacked you this turn. It cannot be regenerated. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Pretty Ugly Cost: wb Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant creature Enchanted creature must pay {2}{e} in addition to it's other costs to make it populate Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Pure Evil Cost: 1wb Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant creature Enchanted creature is black and white exclusively, gets +3/+3, gains Lifelink and at the beginning of it's controller upkeep they drain 3 on themself. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Tragicomedy Cost: wwwbbb Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Creatures, players and planeswalkers become Emotionally Unstable until end of turn Flavour Text: WHAT SHOULD I BE FEELING??? I DONT KNOW TO LAUGH OR CRY!!! Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Uncrowned King Cost: 1wb Type: Creature - Human Lord Pow/Tgh: 3/3 Rules Text: Other creatures you control get +1/+1. Uncrowned King cannot be equipped, enchanted or haunted. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Vanilla Fudge Cost: wb Type: Artifact - Delectable Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Vanilla Fudge: Gain 15 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Dead Livestock Cost: 3bg Type: Creature - Zombie Pow/Tgh: 5/5 Rules Text: Ranchling (Dead Livestock is every Animal creature type) Deathtouch Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Dying is a Part of Life Cost: bbbbbggggg Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Whenever a thing dies create a token that is a copy of it Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Great Depression Cost: 3bg Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: When Great Depression enters the battlefield, creatures are 0/1 Workers with no abilities for the next three turns and Destroy all Foods After Great Depression has been in play three turns, exile it and target President Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Green Blackberries Cost: gbb Type: Artifact - Food Delectable Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Green Blackberries: Gain 2 life, then gain 2 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Horsefly Cost: 1bg Type: Creature - Horse Insect Pow/Tgh: 3/1 Rules Text: Infect, Flying Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Large Ant Cost: 3BG Type: Creature - Insect Pow/Tgh: 0/0 Rules Text: Large Ant enters the battlefield with five +1/+1 counters on it. {E}{E}{E}{E}{E}, tap five untapped Insects you control, {T}: Move target Food up to one millimetre. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Open Secret Cost: 2bg Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Cast Open Secret only if a creature has died under your control this turn Return that creature from your graveyard to the battlefield tapped. Put three +1/+1 counters on it. It is *hiding something...* Flavour Text: Sorry we killed your friend. We got you a new one! If he's acting weird it's because he learned there is no afterlife, just boundless oblivion! Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Boneless Ribs Cost: 1ug Type: Artifact - Delectable Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Skeletons cannot be in play while Boneless Ribs is {T}, Sacrifice a third of Boneless Ribs: Gain 2.5 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Feline Swimmer Cost: ug Type: Creature - Cat Fish Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: [Swimming] Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Female X-Man Cost: 1ug Type: Creature - Superhuman Mutant Pow/Tgh: 4/4 Rules Text: Female X-Man is Female Hexproof {R}: +1/+0 Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Frozen Bread Cost: ug Type: Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {R}: Transform Frozen Bread (Frozen Bread transforms into Thawed Bread) Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Frozen Hotdog Cost: ug Type: Artifact Land - Food Waste Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Devoid Frozen Hotdog enters the battlefield tapped {E}{R}: Untap Frozen Hotdog {T}, Sacrifice Frozen Hotdog: Gain 3 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Land Shark Cost: 3ug Type: Land Creature - Desert Island Fish Pow/Tgh: 6/4 Rules Text: Trample Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Misanthropic Humanitarian Cost: 3ug Type: Creature - Human Weird Cleric Pow/Tgh: 2/3 Rules Text: {B}{R}{T}: Destroy up to four target Humen {W}{T}: Heal target Human. Put a +1/+1 counter on it. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Natural Acting Cost: 1ug Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant creature that is *hiding something...* (a creature is *hiding something...* if they are physically on top of a face down card) Enchanted creature has Hexproof Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Consistently Inconsistent Cost: 10uurr Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: You decide the results of all die rolls, coin flips, and random choices. Flavour Text: Bring order from chaos, with any means necessary. You may discover: - There is but constant change. - You can(not?) control chaos Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Deafening Silence Cost: 2ur Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Cast Deafening Silence only if you've cast another instant or sorcery spell this turn Tap all targets of that spell. Deafening Silence deals 1 damage to them Flavour Text: Everyone stood in shock when the Planeswalker cast Shock, then he shocked them further. Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Exact Estimate Cost: 3UR Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: As you cast this spell, choose a secret number (if you're playing in a tournament, reveal to a referee your chosen number). You win the game unless one or more opponents guesses your number correctly or pays {2}. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Infinity and Beyond! Cost: urrr Type: Instant - Urge Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: You gain infinite life and draw infinite cards Flavour Text: All 12 year olds burst this out in Public loudly because they cannot bear to hold it in... Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Instant Classic Cost: 1ur Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant TVShow that entered the battlefield this turn When enchanted TVShow becomes enchanted with Instant Classic, 'member it (put it into the Nostalgia Realm) Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Jump Start Cost: ur Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Target creature gets +2/+0 and gains [Jump Boost 2] until end of turn Jump-start (You may cast this card from your graveyard by discarding a card in addition to paying its other costs. Then exile this card.) Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Silent Storm Cost: 3sur Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Silent Storm deals 10 damage to each creature that hasn't done anything this turn. If a creature would die this way, exile it instead. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Gentlemanly Bandit Cost: 1wr Type: Creature - Human Bandit Pow/Tgh: 3/3 Rules Text: Mentor, Last Strike Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Order Randomly Cost: 1wr Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Order Randomly cannot have it's ability activated by any means other than the following: At a random point in a random players turn, they choose a random card in a random zone and randomly decide whether or not to do a random one of it's thing(s). When Order Randomly's ability is activated, randomly choose whether or not to deal a random amount of damage to a random amount of a random type of random targets, at random of course. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Serious Comic Cost: 1wr Type: Creature - Human Cleric Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: Whenever a player would laugh one or more times, they laugh an additional time. The rewards are split into thirds Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Assistant Supervisor Cost: WUB Type: Creature - Worker Lord Pow/Tgh: 3/3 Rules Text: When Assistant Supervisor enters the battlefield, search your library for any number of cards named Executive Secretary. Put those cards into your hand, then shuffle. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Executive Secretary Cost: 3WUB Type: Creature - Human Lord Pow/Tgh: 4/6 Rules Text: {W}, Tap an untapped Worker you control: Executive Secretary gains Indestructible this turn. {U}, Tap three untapped Workers you control: Draw a card for each TVShow you control. {B}, Tap ten untapped Workers you control: Target opponent loses the game. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Sad Clown Cost: wub Type: Creature - Clown Pow/Tgh: 3/3 Rules Text: Sad Clown is Frowning Whenever you Laugh, drain yourself 2 Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Screeching Mime Cost: 1wub Type: Creature - Frog Clown Pow/Tgh: 4/4 Rules Text: {T}: Cast a blue spell from your hand {R}{R}{T}: Destroy target creature, create five Blood artifact tokens Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Still Wind Cost: wub Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Do not move target creature Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Creatively Destroyed Cost: 4ubr Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Destroy any target. You gain 100 life and draw one hundred cards. You win the game. Flavour Text: 21 Style Points reached, you win! Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Ill Fortune Cost: ubr Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: You may subtract up to four 4 from all die rolls Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Sugarless Candy Cost: ubr Type: Artifact - Food Delectable Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Sugarless Candy: Gain 10 life then lose 100 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Fried Roast Cost: b/rrgg Type: Artifact - Delectable Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Fried Roast: Heal any number of Who creature tokens. For each Who healed this way, gain 3 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Harmonious Discord Cost: wrg Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Choose one: - Harmonious Discord deals 1 damage to each of exactly three targets, they cannot block for the remainder of the game - Put target non-product thing in another players graveyard into your hand. You lose 1 life twice - Tap a random amount of creatures each other player controls. For each creature tapped this way, you gain 0.666 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Sweet Pickle Cost: wu/g Type: Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Sweet Pickle: Gain 3 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: The High Ground Cost: 3wug Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: As an addition cost to cast The High Ground, tap an untapped Super Mountain and/or Volcano you control. Target blue Jedi with 40 or more Age counters destroys another target Izzet Jedi Sith with 15 or less Age counters. Target Star and/or TVShow becomes a 1/1 creature until end of turn, it gets +5/+0 until end of turn too. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Gunboat Cost: w/br Type: Artifact Equipment - Vehicle Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Equip Advisor, Cleric or Soldier {0} {U} or {E}: Tap Gunboat As long as Gunboat is tapped, it has "{1}{R}: This permanent pings target player" Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Gunboat Diplomacy Cost: 3wbr Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Whenever an opponent is dealt combat damage by a tapped Vehicle Equipment you control, you become teammates with that player for as long as they don't cast spells or activate abilities that target you or permanents you control. When they do, they lose the game unless they pay $1000000000.00 CAD and you gain ownership of their cards. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Hell's Angel Cost: wbr Type: Creature - Human Idiot Demon Angel Pow/Tgh: 6/1 Rules Text: Hell's Angel must be merged with a Vehicle at all times Whenever Hell's Angel becomes targeted, it destroys itself. {R}: +2/+0 until end of turn Banding with other cards of the same name. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Honest Crook Cost: wbr Type: Creature - Human Evil Cleric Pow/Tgh: 4/3 Rules Text: Lifelink Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Fast Snail Cost: ru/g Type: Creature - Slug Pow/Tgh: 2/1 Rules Text: Haste, Hexproof Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Fast Turtle Cost: ru/g Type: Creature - Turtle Pow/Tgh: 1/2 Rules Text: Haste, Hexproof Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Fresh Dried Fruit Cost: ur/g Type: Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {T}, Sacrifice Fresh Dried Fruit: Gain 3 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Extinct Life Form Cost: wbg Type: Legendary Creature - Elder Weird Pow/Tgh: 6/6 Rules Text: [Hydrophobic] Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: American Civil War Cost: 9wur Type: Legendary Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Choose one: - No player owns or controls Slaves for the remainder of the game - Nothing happens Flavour Text: Critical History: Probably Oversimplified Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Calm Storm Cost: 3wwuurr Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Calm Storm deals 12 damage to each target. Or don't, man, it's chill... Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Marvellous Civil War Cost: 9wur Type: Legendary Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Put all Super creatures, Heroes and Villains into one pile, then, Stan Lee shuffles them into two piles. Each player takes one at random. These creatures fight one another at random. Stan Lee gets $1000000.00 CAD Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Nice and Sleazy Cost: bug Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Choose one, or two if you pay me $100.00 CAD in cash, I'll even let you get three... if you do me a dirty favor...: - Choose a color, exile target creature of that color silently at the end of each turn for the remainder of the game - Deal 1 damage to target Artifact or Enchantment. Next time something would interact with it, deals 5 damage to that target, triple tap them. - Draw cards until you draw your more subtly stacked combo piece, then an opponent discards the last spoken card after ranking worst to best Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: True Story Cost: wubg Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Return target Legendary creature from the Nostalgia Realm to the battlefield until end of turn. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Designer Rags Cost: wubrg Type: Artifact - Equipment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Equip creature $199.99 CAD Equipped creature gains "{T}: Populate five times" Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Inside Out Cost: 10wubrg Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Create JOY, SADNESS, FEAR, ANGER, and DISGUST. Everything consumes and confuses itself Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Instant Epicman Cost: 3wubrg Type: Legendary Tribal Instant - Hero Celebrity Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Target creature gets +10/+0 and destroys another Legendary target. It becomes Legendary and 'member it. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Free Purchase Cost: w/u Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Tutor an Artifact. You don't need to pay monetary costs that you don't activate until end of turn Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Deliberate Mistake Cost: 2U/B Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: As an additional cost to cast this spell, mill two cards. Draw two cards. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Hard Liquor Cost: 1u/b Type: Artifact - Food Delectable Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Discard a card, Sacrifice Hard Liquor: Gain 5 life, then lose 1 life each turn for the next three turns. Whenever a Drunk touches Hard Liquor, double tap it. Whenever a non-Drunk creature touches Hard Liquor, Hard Liquor pings it and it becomes a Drunk for the remainder of it's life. It sacrifices itself two turns early Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Catfish Cost: b/r Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Gain control of target Child or Baby creature another target player controls with converted mana cost 2 or less. They lose 2 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Certain Risk Cost: cr/b Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Flip a coin. Pretend that if you win, you loot. Otherwise Certain Risk shocks you. Instead, you get shocked no matter the result. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Escaped Inmate Cost: 1b/r Type: Creature - Human Evil Rebel Pow/Tgh: 2/1 Rules Text: Haste Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Baked Roast Cost: r/grgg Type: Artifact - Delectable Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Baked Roast: Heal any number of Who or Druggy creature tokens. For each Who or Druggy healed this way, gain 4 life then lose 1 life, then lose 1 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Big Sip Cost: r/g Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Add {U}{U}{U}{U}{U} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Distant Relative Cost: w/g Type: Creature - Human Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Lemon Lime Cost: yw/g Type: Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Lemon Lime is Yellow and Light Green Pucker up, Sacrifice Lemon Lime: Gain 4 life then lose 1 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Bittersweet Cost: w/b Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant Food Sacrifice enchanted Food: Gain 2 life and lose 2 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Frenemy Cost: w/b Type: Creature - Donkey Ally Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: Frenemy can have Deathtouch or Lifelink. Change this at any time Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Going Nowhere Cost: w/b Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Flash Exile target Moving creature Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Harmless Lie Cost: w/b Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Target creature destroys target Artifact or Creature, it remains on the battlefield. The target creature is hiding something... and is hiding the second target specifically. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Income Tax Cost: 1w/b Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Lands opponents control enter the battlefield tapped. Whenever one does, add {w/b} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Joyful Frown Cost: b/w Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant creature Enchanted creature is Frowning and yellow Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Mean Smile Cost: w/b Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Target creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn. If you control a Smiling creature, the former target creature gets -2/-2 instead. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Sad Smile Cost: w/b Type: Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Enchant creature Enchanted creature is smiling and blue Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Slavemaster Cost: 4W/BW/B Type: Creature - Evil Lord Pow/Tgh: 3/5 Rules Text: {B}, Sacrifice a Slave: Draw a card and you lose 1 life. {3}{W}, {T}: Create four 1/1 black Slave creature tokens. You gain 4 life. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Bug Fix Cost: u/g Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Create a 2/1 red and black Insect creature token with Haste. Sacrifice it at the end of the turn Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Calculated Risk Cost: cu/r Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Flip a coin. Pretend that if you win, you loot. Otherwise Calculated Risk shocks you. Instead, loot no matter the result. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Even Odds Cost: u/r Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Two players flip a coin. The winner gains 1 life. The loser loses 1 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Boyish Girl Cost: 1w/r Type: Creature - Human Weird Pow/Tgh: 2/1 Rules Text: Boyish Girl is Female Spells and abilities targeting Boyish Girl treat it as a Male Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Fast Waiter Cost: 2w/r Type: Creature - Human Worker Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: Mentor {T}: Untap and/or Move target Food and/or Delectable Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Girly Boy Cost: 1w/r Type: Creature - Human Weird Pow/Tgh: 1/2 Rules Text: Girly Boy is Male Spells and abilities targeting Girly Boy treat it as a Female Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Butthead // Headbutt Cost: 1b // 1r Type: Creature - Human Idiot Evil Baby // Instant Pow/Tgh: 5/1 // / Rules Text: Haste Whenever something targets Butthead, exile me and add {U}{U}{U}{U}{U}{U}{U}{U}{U}{U} // Double tap a tapped attacking red creature you control. Headbutt deals 2 damage to target creature, if that creature had a large head, than Headbutt deals 3 damage instead. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Buzzing Horse // Galloping Pest Cost: 1gg // 1bb Type: Creature - Horse // Creature - Insect Pow/Tgh: 3/5 // 5/3 Rules Text: Trample, Horsemanship, Phasing // Menace, Landwalk, Phasing Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Fresh Raisin // Fresh Prune Cost: ubb // uub Type: Artifact - Food // Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / // / Rules Text: Sacrifice Fresh Raisin: Gain 2 life // Sacrifice Fresh Prune: Gain 2 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Fried Ice Cream Cost: b/rwww Type: Artifact - Delectable Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Fried Ice Cream: Gain 10 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Half Dressed // Half Naked Cost: 1ww // 1gg Type: Enchantment - Aura // Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / // / Rules Text: Enchant creature Create X Equipments with no equip cost and attach them to enchanted creature, where X is half that creatures toughness, rounded down // Enchant creature Destroy target Equipment on enchanted creature, all creatures on it's side of the battlefield that are the opposite sex get +2/+0, are red and gain "{T}: Populate" until end of turn, and then until enchanted creature has ninety or more age counters on it. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Half Empty // Half Full Cost: 1b // 1w Type: Enchantment - Aura // Enchantment - Aura Pow/Tgh: / // / Rules Text: Enchant Food Numbers on enchanted Food are halved. You lose 2 life. Activate this ability only once while the last one is active // Enchant Food Tap an untapped white creature you control: Numbers on enchanted Food are halved. You gain 2 life. Activate this ability only once while the last one is active Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Homeschool // Homework Cost: 1wg // 1wu Type: Sorcery // Artifact Pow/Tgh: / // / Rules Text: Two target creature which both have more than 18 age counters when they merged to populate (they must also have no greater than a difference of 5 age counters between them) tap the creature they made thrice each turn for the next 18 turns. Then it becomes blue and you draw a card. // Children have -1/-1 and gain Frowns in their art Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Hot Chili // Chilly Chili Cost: 1rr // 1uu Type: Artifact - Food // Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / // / Rules Text: Sacrifice Hot Chili: Gain 9 life. Hot Chili deals 2 damage to you. Add {R} // Sacrifice Chilly Chili: Gain 7 life. You are frozen (tapped and don't untap next turn) Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Accurate Horoscope Cost: 4 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {2}{u}{t}: Scry 3 Flavour Text: Astrology is pseudoscience Astronomy is science Sorry for the confusion. Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Autopilot Cost: 2 Type: Artifact Creature - Construct Pilot Pow/Tgh: 1/2 Rules Text: Flying At the beginning of combat on your turn, you may Scry 1. If you do, declare Autopilot as an attacker. Otherwise, Autopilot cannot attack until end of turn Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Baggy Tights Cost: 3 Type: Artifact - Equipment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Equip creature {10} Equipped creature loses all abilities and gets -10/-10 Flavour Text: It cannot be pulled off, or pushed on. But mostly nobody manages to pulls it off. Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Blacklight Cost: 2 Type: Artifact - Equipment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Equip creature living in a Structure with five or more creatures that share three or more differences Whenever equipped creature's controller casts a spell, it targets any Illusion(s) if it's legal Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Bland Kaleidoscope Cost: 4 Type: Artifact - Equipment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Equip creature {0} Equipped creature is immeasurably disappointed. Ruin that creature's day. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Brittle Gummy Cost: 2 Type: Artifact - Food Delectable Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Whenever a moving creature touches Brittle Gummy, Brittle Gummy deals 100 damage to it and it stops moving underneath Brittle Gummy, face down. Brittle Gummy deals 1 damage to it every second until it is turned face up. Sacrifice Brittle Gummy: Gain 0.5 life and lose 2500 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Clean Toilet Cost: 3 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Whenever you defecate, sacrifice Clean Toilet. At the beginning of your upkeep, each other player gives you a card for the remainder of your life. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Curved Line Cost: 1 Type: Artifact Creature - God-Being-of-Ultimate-Power Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: Whenever something happens, create a Graham's Number of copies of Curved Line Graham's Number times and merge them. Graham's Number-iate their power, toughness and this ability. Once this resolves, do it again. You gain 1 life Curved Line may attack at any time. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Dry Alcohol Cost: 1C Type: Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {T}, Sacrifice Dry Alcohol: Add {U}. When this permanent leaves the battlefield, you gain 2 life and mill two cards. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Dry Ice Cost: cc Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {R}, Sacrifice Dry Ice: Add {U}{U}{U} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Dull Knife Cost: 2 Type: Artifact - Equipment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Equip {5} Equipped creature gains "{T}: Deal 0 damage to any target" Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Dull Needle Cost: 2 Type: Artifact - Equipment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Equip creature {5} Equipped creature is a Cleric and gains "{T}: Heal target creature for 0 damage" Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Fake Fact Cost: 1 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: When Fake Fact enters the battlefield tap target Idiot and/or Internetian {T}: Tap target Idiot and/or Internetian Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Fiberglass Cost: 6 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Indestructible {0}: Prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt to another target artifact Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Flat-Bust Cost: 2 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Flavour Text: wow what a non-thicc statue. I bet [insert magic artist you don't like, who isn't John Avon because that is insane] did it, he succ Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Floppy Disk Cost: 2 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Destructible (any amount of damage is enough to kill Floppy Disk, if a card is played that has destroy in the text box, Floppy Disk is destroyed.) Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Fresh Can of Spam Cost: 2 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: When Fresh Can of Spam enters the battlefield you lose 2.5 life {T}: Add {C}{C}{B}. You lose 2 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Frozen Toast Cost: Type: Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: (transforms from Toast) is Frozen Toast Izzet{?} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Full Vacuum Cleaner Bag Cost: 2 Type: Stinky Smelly Artifact - Delectable Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Triple exile Full Vacuum Cleaner Bag: Add {4}{b}{b}{b}{c}{c}{c}{g}{g}{g}{u} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Golden Silverware Cost: 4 Type: Artifact - Equipment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Golden Silverware is Gold and Silver Equip creature Equipped creature gains "{T}: Destroy target Food" Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Gourmet Gruel Cost: 6 Type: Artifact - Food Delectable Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Gourmet Gruel: Add {B}{B} and lose 2 life. Flavour Text: So Bad it's Good Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Hard Pillow Cost: 2 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Whenever a Sleeping creature touches Hard Pillow, wake it up. Whenever a Waking creature touches Hard Pillow, Hard Pillow deals 1 damage to it and it becomes Sleeping. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Incomplete Cure Cost: 2 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Supspend 2 - $175.00 CAD Tap a Cleric you control, Sacrifice Incomplete Cure: Heal target creature Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Kosher-Halal Pighamburger Cost: 5 Type: Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Kosher-Halal Pighamburger: Gain 12 life. Destroy creatures from Rabiah Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Lace-Up Slippers Cost: 2 Type: Artifact - Equipment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Equip {e} and {e} Equipped creature gets +0/+2 when blocking creatures with Landwalk Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Lampshade Cost: 2 Type: Artifact - Equipment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Equip white activated or triggered artifact {0} Equipped white artifact loses all abilities. All creatures within one foot of it are black exclusively. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Last Initial Cost: 1 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Last Initial enters the battlefield as a copy of the first letter of your last name and/or surname Make that sound, {T}: Add {1} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Living Fossil Cost: 2 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Suspend 1000000 - {U}{U}{U}{U}{U}{U}{U}{U}{U}{U} Create a 4/4 green Dinosaur creature token with Trample Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Mercury (Liquid Metal) Cost: 1 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Mercury (Liquid Metal) is blue, , black, red, gold and colorless {T}: Infect any target (put a poison or -1/-1 counter on it) Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Missing Present Cost: 2 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Suspend {W} - 3 {T}, Sacrifice Missing Present, Rip Missing Present into one hundred pieces: Add five mana of any color, draw seven cards and gain 20 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Non-Alcoholic Beer Cost: 8 Type: Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Non-Alcoholic Beer: Gain 5 life and lose no life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Open Lock Cost: 2 Type: Artifact - Equipment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Equip {0} Equipped creature has Protection from nothing Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Original Copy Cost: 2 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {2}{T}: Create a token that is a copy of Original Copy Sacrifice Original Copy and 8332 other cards with the same name: Destroy target Forest Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Ounceling Poundcake Cost: 1 Type: Artifact - Food Delectable Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Ounceling Poundcake: Gain 5 life and defecate 3 Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Outer Core Cost: 4 Type: Artifact - Star Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Outer Core only counts as a quarter of a card {R}: Outer Core deals 1 damage to any target Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Paper Towel Cost: 1 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Tap an untapped Worker or Cleric you control, sacrifice Paper Towel: Add {u}, and regenerate an Artifact if you tapped a Worker or heal a creature if you tapped a Cleric. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Plastic Flower Cost: 1 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Plastic Flower is all colors Plastic Flower cannot be decomposed Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Plastic Silverware Cost: 4 Type: Artifact - Equipment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: When Plastic Silverware enters the battlefield create three tokens that are copies of it Equip Hungry creature {u} Equipped creature gets +1/+0 when fighting Foods Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Plastic Straw Cost: 1 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {T}: Target blue Food loses all abilities until end of turn. You may gain 2 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Pool Table Cost: 5 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Tokens that Gamers you control move cannot be blocked Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: RND Cost: 100 Type: Enchantment Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Gods you control get +100/+100 and have all abilities of all cards ever printed Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Rubber Bone Cost: 1 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Idestructible, Fireproof Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Sanitary Garbage Cost: Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sanitary Garbage is blue, black and green Sacrifice Sanitary Garbage: Drain 1 on yourself Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Silent Alarm Cost: 2 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Creatures are frozen permanently Whenever a creature enters the battlefield untap all creatures with large ears Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Smelly Deoderant Cost: 2 Type: Smelly Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {T}: Target Stinky Smelly creature loses Stinky until end of turn Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Squishy Rock Cost: 2 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Steel Wool Cost: 2 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {E}: Regenerate an artifact Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Stickless Gum Cost: 1 Type: Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Sunshades Cost: 2 Type: Artifact - Equipment Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sunshades is black Equip creature Equipped creature has protection from white, red and stars Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Thawed Bread Cost: Type: Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: (transforms from frozen bread) {E}{R}: Transform Thawed Bread {T}, Sacrifice Thawed Bread: Gain 2 life (Thawed Bread transforms into Toast) Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Toast Cost: Type: Artifact - Food Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: (Toast transforms from Thawed Bread) {S}{S}{U}: Transform Toast {T}, Sacrifice Toast: Gain 3 life (Toast transforms into Frozen Toast) Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Unsalted Saltine Cost: 1 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Unsalted Saltine: Gain 2 life, then don't lose 1 life Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Valuable Junk Cost: 2 Type: Artifact - Treasure Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Valuable Junk can only be cast from your graveyard or junkyard. When Valuable Junk enters the battlefield, draw a card {T}, Sacrifice Valuable Junk: Add one mana of any color Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Waterproof Sponge Cost: 2 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Hydrophobic Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Weak Muscle Cost: 1 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Weak Muscle is Red and Green You may equip Weak Muscle as if it were an artifact, and it's equip cost is 0 Equipped creature has "{T}: {e}{e}" Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Wet Drywall Cost: 0 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Wet Drywall is white and blue merging Wet Drywall with a structure spell in your hand pays for {1} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: White Rose Cost: 1 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {T}: Add {W}{W} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Wordless Book Cost: 4 Type: Artifact - Book Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Books lose all abilities Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Clean Coal Plant Cost: Type: Land - Factory Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Clean Coal Plant enters the battlefield tapped {U}{B}{B}{T}: Add {e}{e}{e}{e}{e} {1}{T}: Create two Coal artifact tokens Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Dried Creek Cost: Type: Land - Desert Island Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Dried Creek enters the battlefield tapped {1}{T}: Add {C}{U} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Fantastic Forest Cost: Type: Legendary Basic Land - Forest Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {g}{g} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Free Market Cost: Type: Land Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Free Market enters the battlefield tapped {T}: Add {W} or {U} {1}{T}: Create a Free Laborer token Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Globe-Spanning Village Cost: Type: Legendary Land Structure Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Globe-Spanning Village enters the battlefield tapped {T}: Add one mana of any color {1}{T}: Create a 1/1 white and green Human creature token {2}{T}: Populate Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Houseboat Cost: 8 Type: Land Structure - Island Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Human Idiot with more than $1000000 CAD attached to it Inhabitants die unless they have Swimming Inhabitants have -3/-0. They add two mana of any color that is: blue, black, orange or green whenever Houseboat moves, then you lose 5 life. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Intelligent Island Cost: Type: Legendary Basic Land - Island Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {u}{u} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Ironwoods Cost: Type: Legendary Land - Forest Mountain Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Ironwoods enters the battlefield tapped {T}: Add {G} or {R} {1}{T}: Create two Ironwood artifact tokens Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Jungle Gym Cost: Type: Land Structure - Temple Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Jungle Gym enters the battlefield tapped {T}: Add {W}, {R} or {G} {1}{T}: Move target student up/north/forward {2}{T}: Create a 2/1 black and blue Evil Teacher creature token with Skulk Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Luxury Camping Resort Cost: Type: Legendary Land - Forest Mountain Plains Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Luxury Camping Resort enters the battlefield triple tapped Suspend {0} - Infinity Luxury Camping Resort does not exist Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Mega Mountains Cost: Type: Legendary Basic Land - Mountain Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {r}{r} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Middle East Cost: Type: Legendary Land - Desert Temple Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Middle East enters the battlefield tapped {E}{E}{T}: Add {B}{B}{B} {1}{T}: Create a black 1/1 Slave Worker creature token Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Molasses Rapids Cost: Type: Land - Swamp Island Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Molasses Rapids enters the battlefield tapped {T}: {U}/{B} {4}{T}: Dunk target creature permanent card into molasses. Destroy it. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Ocean Shore Cost: Type: Land - Island Desert Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Ocean Shore enters the battlefield tapped {T}: Add {U} {1}{T}: Create a 1/1 white Human creature token Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Park Drive Cost: Type: Land Structure Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Park Drive enters the battlefield tapped Vehicle Habitat {T}: Add {c} Vehicular Inhabitants have Phasing Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Perfect Plains Cost: Type: Legendary Basic Land - Plains Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {W}{W} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Rapid-Melt Glacier Cost: Type: Snow Land - Island Plains Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Rapid-Melt Glacier enters the battlefield tapped {T}: {W}/{U} {r}{t}: Sacrifice Rapid-Melt Glacier Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Sanitary Landfill Cost: Type: Land Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sanitary Landfill enters the battlefield tapped {U}{T}: Remove {B}{B}{g}{g} from target player {1}{T}: Create a Sanitary Garbage artifact token Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Rare CardName: Super Swamp Cost: Type: Legendary Basic Land - Swamp Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {b}{b} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Wee Mountain Cost: Type: Land Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {T}: Add one third of {R} and deal one third of a damage to any target Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Common CardName: Well-Preserved Ruins Cost: Type: Land Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Well-Preserved Ruins enters the battlefield triple tapped {T}: Add {C} {E}{E}{E}{T}: Add {10} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Uncommon CardName: Wonderful Waste Cost: Type: Legendary Basic Land Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {c}{c} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Zoo of MAN Cost: Type: Land Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Zoo of MAN enters the battlefield tapped {T}: Add {W}, {B}, {R} or {Y} {1}{T}: Create a 1/1 white, black, red and yellow Human creature token Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Mythic CardName: Criminal Cop Cost: Type: Token Creature - Human Worker Soldier Pow/Tgh: 2/1 Rules Text: Haste, Menace, Intimidate, Fear {T}: Criminal Cop kills target black creature. Activate this ability only if Criminal Cop is equipped. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Token CardName: Egg Titan Cost: Type: Token Creature - Egg Pow/Tgh: 10/10 Rules Text: Indestructible Flavour Text: Eggs by Wurms Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Token CardName: Black Gold Cost: Type: Token Artifact - Gold Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {T}: Add one mana of any color. {E}, {T}: Add four mana of any one color. Activate this ability only to cast Evil spells or activate abilities of Evil permanents. Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Token CardName: Coal Cost: Type: Token Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {e}{t}, Sacrifice Coal: Add {b}{b}. Destroy 100 Forests Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Token CardName: Free Laborer Cost: Type: Token Creature - Worker Idiot Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: {T}, Tap five other untapped Worker Idiots: Draw a card Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Token CardName: Ironwood Cost: Type: Token Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: {E}, Sacrifice Ironwood: Add {G}{R} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Token CardName: Blood Cost: Type: Token Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Sacrifice Blood: Add {R} Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Token CardName: Powdered Water Cost: Type: Token Artifact Pow/Tgh: / Rules Text: Flavour Text: Set/Rarity: [WORDS] Oxymorons Token